Mike: So, listen, I wanna float something by you.
Frankie: Oh, no. That thing from the magazine? It's fun to think about, but I don't think it'll work with our height difference.
Mike: I disagree. But actually, I was talking about Mother's Day. Now the kids and I have been talking about what to get you for weeks now, and we were wonderin' how you would feel if as your gift, we just left you alone for the day.
Frankie: Yes. Oh, Mike, yes, I would love it. I mean, not that I don't want to be with you and the kids.
Mike: Oh, we know. We wanna be with you, too.
Frankie: But if they're excited about the idea...
Mike: They are pretty excited.
Frankie: Well, if they're excited, then I guess we should do it.
[cut to:]
Mike: She went for it. All you guys gotta do is make her a card, and we're home free.
Axl, Sue & Brick: A card? [groan]

Mike: We wound up going to Brown County.
Frankie: You went to Brown County? I love Brown County! I didn't know you were planning on going there.
Mike: No, we weren't. You know, we were just kinda driving around, and we realized we were halfway there, so we figured, what the hell?
Brick: There was this fair with all these rides and a huge Ferris wheel.
Sue: It was awesome! I was a little scared at first, but then Axl tickled me, and I forgot all about it!
Axl: She had the funniest laugh, so then we all started laughing, and then the whole... The whole Ferris wheel's laughing.
Mike: And then we had a picnic lunch.
Frankie: Of course you did.
Sue: Mom, you should've been there. We had rhubarb, lemonade and pretzel-crusted fried chicken.
Brick: And these tiny cakes baked in a jell-o mold.

Sue: And we met this amazing family named the Clarys...
Mike: The Clarys.
Sue: And they had these kids that were exactly our age, and we ended up playing volleyball with them.
Axl: Net face.
Sue & Brick: Net face!
Frankie: Net face! What's net face?
Brick: Whenever we needed a point, Dad would stick his face in the net and go, "Net face. Net face." And the Clarys would crack up, and they couldn't make the point.
Sue: You're so funny, Dad.
Mike: Stop.
Sue: You stop.
Frankie: Why don't you both stop?

Sue: I'd like to purchase this Indiana cow creamer, please. Wait a minute. Pine cone earrings with a matching necklace! [screams]

Mike: Okay, we got a choice between... Ham and cheese, turkey and cheese, and cheese and cheese. Frankie, it's your special day, so you get first dibs.
Arlo: Mrs. Heck, I have allergies.
Brick: Of course you do.
Arlo: I'm allergic to wheat, gluten, dairy, and cats.
Frankie: Well, thank you, Arlo, but I don't think you're gonna be eating any cat sandwiches. Or maybe you will.

Cashier: Are you sure this time?
Sue: Positive. Can you imagine how cool I'll be at school with this giant pencil? Everyone will be like, "There's the girl with the giant pencil." I love it.
Axl: How you gonna sharpen it? [Sue sighs]

Sue: I did it. I finally got the perfect souvenir.
Brick: What does an octopus have to do with Brown County?
Sue: Duh. His hat says "I heart Brown County." Plus, I just love the ocean so much.

Bob: Don't worry, Frankie. I'll cover for you Sunday.
Frankie: Really? Oh, thank you! Wait. But didn't you say you and your mom were doing a whole spa day thing?
Bob: Yeah, that was the plan, but, uh... She's spending the day with her new boyfriend, and she hasn't exactly told him about me yet.
Frankie: How long have they been dating?
Bob: About a year.

Colleen: I know, Arlo, I'm a minute early. Don't sweat it.
Mike: He's ready to go. Aren't you, pal? Brick had fun.
Colleen: Oh, would you mind if the boys did this again a week from Sunday? Arlo is wide open.
Mike: Brick, too. Sounds good.
Colleen: Great. [Mike closes the door]
Brick: You could've asked me. A lot of work, that kid. A lot of work.

Frankie: Mike, you're not gonna believe this. Mr. Ehlert wanted me to work on Sunday. [Mike has a blank expression] This Sunday. [Mike is still puzzled] Mother's Day?
Mike: Oh, I know. I was just too stunned to respond. What a jerk. Sue, Axl, Brick, get in here.
[cut to Mike and the kids in Sue's room:]
Brick: Oh! So that's why everybody was making those pot holders. I probably should've done one.