Principal Cameron: Okay, Mr. Heck, let's wrack our brains and think. Is there anybody else that you could call? Like a kid from another school that doesn't know you very well? Or a janitor that you're inappropriately close with?
Brick: Well, I didn't want to have to play this card, but I guess I can call my ex-girlfriend.
Principal Cameron: You have a girlfriend?
Brick: Ex-girlfriend. And I dumped her.
Principal Cameron: You dumped her.
Brick: But that was a while ago. I'm sure she's over it by now. [on cell phone] Hello, Cindy? It's me, Brick. Hello? Hello?
Principal Cameron: Okay, Mr. Heck, it's late, and I'd like to go home. I mean, it isn't much, but I'd still like to go there. Is there anybody else that you can call? You know, just like, any body?

Frankie: Mike? Mike! Mike! Mike! Come and eat! Why are you even doing this now? We didn't pick a day to pick a day yet.
Mike: Yeah, well, I got tired of waiting, so I picked a day to pick a day, and today's the day.

Sue: Hey, Brick. Fun outfit. How's '80s week?
Brick: It was not a thriller.
Sue: [chuckles] That's funny.
Brick: Why?

Frankie: Oh, my God! It's okay to admit it. Look, I'm jealous, too. But I channel my jealousy in a healthy way by sucking up to them and taking their handouts. Show an emotion, Mike! Come on! Show an emotion! It's okay! People have them. It's acceptable. Be human. Y... Just admit that you're jealous of him. You're not a bad person because you have feelings. Say it. Come on, just say it! [throws mud at Mike]
Mike: Fine! I'm jealous! You don't think I want a lake house? I want a lake house! I want a canoe! I want to fish! I want all that stuff! I want dividends from Disney stock. I want a box at the Pacers game. I want his teeth! But what am I complaining about? I got all this. All this is mine. Congratulations, Frankie. You got the mud-hole guy.
Frankie: I married the mud-hole guy because I love the mud-hole guy. Hey, anybody can be happy with a boat and 20 houses. It takes a lot of love to be happy in a mud hole.
Mike: You still want to go to that lake house, don't you?
Frankie: Oh, I was never not going.

Frankie: Soooo, how was your weekend with Lexie and her parents?
Axl: Oh, my God, I thought their regular house was great. You should see their lake house. You can fit four of our houses in there, but you wouldn't want to 'cause this place is a dump.
Frankie: Hey, our house is... Oh, forget it.
Axl: You can't believe it, they've got everything... a speedboat, a dock house, an arcade. Oh, and hey, guess what? Lexie's parents are gonna be at parents' weekend, too, so we were thinking maybe we could, uh, get dinner or something?
Frankie: You? Want to have dinner with us? With Lexie's parents? You know they'll see us, right?
Axl: I know, but you didn't get to meet April's parents until we got married, so now you can meet Lexie's parents before I get married. But I'm not getting married. [chuckles] Unless you piss me off. Then I will. So be nice.
Frankie: Well, wow, Axl, I'm thrilled. I would love to meet Lexie's parents.
Axl: Okay, great. Don't forget to wear your good bra.
Mike: Your pants are on backwards.

Frankie: [sighs] I don't want to meet Lexie's parents.
Mike: What are you talking about? You always want to meet the people our kids are dating.
Frankie: Yeah, but Lexie's parents are all richy rich. They come from a completely different world. What are we gonna talk about? Cleaning people's teeth and our mud pit?
Mike: Who cares how much money they make? You just talk to them like you would talk to anybody.
Frankie: Says the guy who talks to nobody. Do I even have a good bra?

Sue: We're home! People entering the apartment! I have to do that now.

Axl: Oh, hey, awesome news... so, these friends of Lexie's got some wicked stomach bug and we got their Chance the Rapper tickets, so it looks like we're gonna have to bail on dinner.
Frankie: Aw, no.
Lexie: Oh, no, it's still happening. My parents are dying to meet you. They can't wait. They'll be at the restaurant at 8:00.
Frankie: Well, we got 20 minutes to come up with a whole new life.

Bennett: Oh, I hope you didn't want to go to someplace fancy. We just love the barbecue here. They have Flintstone-sized ribs here. I love a hunk of meat that'll tip your car over.
Frankie: Yeah, no, are you kidding? This is great.
Bennett: Sorry we're late. We were at the game. What an ending, right?
Mike: Yep.
Bennett: Uh-oh, check it out, TamTam, we're already a beer behind. Not fair, Mike.

Tammy: Frankie, I got to brag about your son. Axl is the perfect gentleman. You did something right.
Frankie: What is it? Tell us. [laughter]
Tammy: Well, we had him up to the lake house last weekend, and he was such a helper. It was amazing! I just love that about Axl.
Frankie: I wish he was that way around our house.
Mike: Yeah.
Tammy: Hey, tell you what. You take Lexie, we'll take Axl, and we can report back to each other about how great our kids are. [laughs]
Frankie: Deal.