‘Land of the Lost’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 21, 2015
Frankie is worried about Mike, who is being even more quiet and distant than usual. Sue invites Brick to spend the weekend with her at college. Meanwhile, Axl and Hutch take matters into their own hands when they get fed up of their ant-infested house.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Hey. There's my guy. I've been waiting for you to get home. How about taking this biker babe on a little ride?
Mike: No, thanks.
Frankie: Oh, come on. I mean, I admit, when you first brought the bike home, I wasn't so sure, but I think it could be a lot of fun. Besides, you haven't even taken me out once yet.
Mike: Eh, it's running a little rough. Might need a tune-up.
Frankie: All right. Hey, how about a little hoop ball instead, huh? Yeah, that's right. Let's go, shorty. Loser defrosts dinner, huh? Think you can stop me? You think you can stop me? I don't think so. Whoo! [Mike blocks Frankie's shot] Seriously, Mike, what is up with you?
Mike: It'll pass.
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, I tried. He said it would pass. Maybe I just needed to let it pass.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: [v.o.] Apparently, ferrets like to eat couches more than they like to eat ants, so Axl and Hutch had to improvise.
Axl: I am telling you, this hammock thing is awesome. Couches are so last year. My Mom sits on a couch.
Hutch: I'm not a fan. I had a lady over last night, trying to make the hammock-to-hammock transfer, and I ended up on the floor with a face full of ants, and she bolted.
Axl: So what you're saying is you basically had a woman in a net, and you let her get away.
Quote from Axl
Landlord: And under the terms of the lease, we have the right to evict any and all tenants effective immediately.
Hutch: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Come on, man. You can't kick us out. We're just little kids.
Axl: Little kids, man.
Hutch: Take the blocks off. Show him how little we are.
Axl: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hutch: Look at how little we are.
Axl: Check this out.
Hutch: You're not even gonna believe it. It'll blow your mind.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Oh, I am so sorry I am late, but you're not gonna believe this.
Logan: Are you ready to go to dinner?
Sue: Sure. No! Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I want to, but I can't 'cause I lost my little brother. You don't understand. He wanders. He's a wanderer. And if he's wandering and reading, then...
Logan: Sue, Sue, look at me. It's gonna be okay. You and I will walk this whole campus if we have to, but we are gonna find him.
Sue: Who?
Logan: Your brother.
Sue: Right, right. Right, right, right. You know, actually, let's walk this way 'cause more people will see us.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Are the Colts not playing?
Mike: Yeah, they are.
Frankie: You're not watching?
Mike: Nah. I don't feel like it.
Frankie: [v.o.] All right, when Mike stops watching the Colts, something is seriously wrong. I needed professional help.
[cut to Frankie opening the door:]
Reverend TimTom: Well, hello, there, Frankie Heck.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Oh, my God. There's 10 different floors.
Logan: Sue, Sue, look in my eyes. It's okay.
Sue: What is? Right. Brick. Yeah. Brick. [sighs]
Logan: Maybe we should split up.
Sue: [sighs] Of course we should. You're a shirtless God, and I am a lowly potato girl.
Logan: I-I meant split up and, you know, look for your brother.
Sue: Got it! That's what I meant, too.
Quote from Reverend TimTom
Reverend TimTom: So... how about those Colts, huh?
Mike: [chuckles] Didn't watch them today.
Reverend TimTom: Well, now, that's interesting. I thought everybody around here watched the Colts. Someone must have a pretty good reason to not watch the Colts.
Mike: Nothing I want to talk about.
Reverend TimTom: Got it. Say, you ever drive down Route 42? You know, the one with all the corn and that green barn? I love that drive.
Quote from Frankie
Brick: Well, that was a miserable weekend. I was at 12 libraries, and I didn't get a chance to read a single book. Do you know what that's like for a person like me?
Sue: Yeah, it's kind of like not getting to kiss Logan. I was this close!
Axl: Now, before you freak out, we don't want to be here, either. Apparently, Derek and Andy were not the badass landlords we thought they were. Our real landlord is some dingus named Mr. Callen who red-tagged our house and kicked us out.
Mike: Hang on. You got evicted?
Axl: Yeah. Apparently, our house is deemed "unfit for human habitation," but, I mean, shouldn't that be our judgment?
Sue: Mom! Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! Okay, and the worst part is, what if Logan thinks I ditched him? He doesn't have my phone number, and the number I have for him is one number off, but I don't know which one it is. What am I supposed to do, just start dialing numbers?
Axl: Anyway, we're gonna be crashing here for the next couple of weeks till we figure it out.
Mike: We're gonna crash here?
Hutch: I appreciate it, Mr. Heck. And I hate to be a burden, but is there a way we could set up a shower schedule or something? [overlapping chatter]
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out... All this life crap is just one big distraction from death. But it's a pretty good one. So that's why you got to keep the hope peas on the shelf. And for the love of God, stay too busy to think.