‘Homecoming II: The Tailgate’
Season 7, Episode 7 - Aired November 11, 2015
Frankie is looking forward to the annual homecoming tailgate, until she mentions it to her mom, Pat (Marsha Mason), who decides to drive down for the day. When Axl comes down with a stomach bug, Mike looks to Brick to help him win the "cornhole" tournament. Meanwhile, Sue visits her old high school for the first time since she left.
Quote from Mike
Ron: Hey, Mike, uh, if you need any help picking up those bags, I can do it with my giant spatula. [laughs] I've had it for four years now, going on five. I almost wish somebody would win it from me. It's getting ridiculous.
Mike: [chuckles] [to Brick] He's going bald, you know.
Quote from Sean Donahue
Brick: Well, can't you find another partner? Sean's free.
Sean: You know, I'm not into competition right now. I feel like there's enough competitiveness in the world.
Nancy: Who are you?
Sean: That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Quote from Frankie
Axl: Okay, Dad, choose.
Brick: Yeah, Dad, who's it gonna be?
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike had to do something he never had to do in his whole life... pick between his two sons. So, he did the only thing a father could do in that situation. He didn't.
Axl: You got this, Brick!
Frankie: [v.o.] In life, if you do the right thing, the universe has a way of rewarding you. [Brick misses the shot] Except in this case. It turns out Brick had never played in front of a crowd, and he was a giant choke artist.
Brick: Sorry about that! My bad.
Frankie: [v.o.] And Axl wasn't as healthy as he thought he was.
Ron: I am the cornhole king! Behold my giant spatula! I will be a benevolent ruler who shall cook all burgers medium-well! [laughter and applause]
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike really did deserve better from the universe. But at least with us, the universe is consistent.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Sue, have you seen grandma?
Sue: Uh, no. Maybe Brick has.
Frankie: She said she was coming to talk to you. I-I'll just wait here.
Sue: No, Mom. Not here.
Frankie: What is the big deal? Look. You got a chair. I'm not gonna bother anybody. Hi, I'm Sue's Mom. Not from the class of 2015. I'm 2018. [laughs] Kidding.
Sue: Uh, Mom, your tongue is blue.
Frankie: Is it? [nasal] Oh, I guess it is a little bit. [chuckles]
Sue: [to her friends] Oh, I know. Let's go see if we remember our old locker combinations.
Frankie: [v.o.] Oh, my God. I embarrassed my daughter. I guess one woman's blue tongue is another's paper towels. It's the circle of embarrassment.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: [v.o.] After that, Sue avoided me the whole rest of the day. But at least she made it to the big game perfectly healthy. Crap. So close.
Mike: What, is she pecking?
Brick: That's not pecking. That's puking.
Axl: Oh, I cannot get this on YouTube fast enough.