Frankie: Axl, you're up. Didn't you have a science test the other day? How'd that go?
Axl: Uh, actually, we won't get the scores till next week.
Sue: Actually, you can get 'em right now. All the grades go up on the school web site, and parents can check 'em whenever they want.
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl had been having a rough go of it with Sue now in his school. He told her to be cool, but there's cool and then there's Sue cool.
[flashbacks to Sue loudly greeting Axl whenever they run into each other in school:]
Sue: Axl!
Sue: Axl!
Sue: Axl!
[present:]
Axl: Oh, my God! You ruin my life at school, and now you gotta ruin it at home, too?! I can't take it anymore! I need my space! [storms off]
Sue: [follows Axl] Axl! What are you talking about? I totally give you space! In what way am I not giving you space? What kind of space am I not giving you?

Frankie: Um, Brick, if you have issues with Mr. Wilkerson, you're gonna have to talk to him yourself. I mean, you're in the fourth grade now. We trust you to take care of this. You've matured.
Brick: Really?
Frankie: Oh, yeah, you have, definitely.
Brick: Hmm. [walks off]
Mike: You just don't wanna go see his teacher.
Frankie: Gee, you think? [shouts over the loud dishwasher] I learned my lesson with Ms. Rinsky! I'm not going anywhere near that school.

Sue: Did you have Ms. Wright for frosh math? Are her tests hard? People say she's the hardest of all the frosh teachers.
Axl: Oh, my God! How do you do it? Every day I think I couldn't possibly like you less.
Sue: Oh, also, I meant to ask you I still have to pick an elective for my free period before frosh math. So many choices! Uh, typing, computer lab, home ec...
Axl: Hey, what about swimming?
Sue: Swimming? I can do that as an elective?
Axl: Oh, yeah. It's a real gateway for getting on the swim team. I mean, I don't know if you're even interested in doing any extracurricular activities, but...
Sue: Swimming. Thanks, Axl. You're a good brother.
Frankie: [v.o.] He wasn't. You see, with the pool here, and Sue's next class way over here, Axl knew there was no way she'd ever make it on time. Let's just say revenge is a dish best served daily between 11:00 and 11:05.

Hall Monitor: Tardy sweep!
Sue: Oh, no, no, no, but I had to come all the way from the pool. It's so far!
Boy: Hey, do you wanna buy some weed?
Sue: [gasps]

Frankie: [v.o.] So Mike may have had a point with the whole "yammer" thing. But the next day, he was the one stuck going to see Brick's teacher.
Mike: Excuse me. I'm looking for Mr. Wilkerson.
Mr. Wilkerson: You found him.
Mike: You're Mr. Wilkerson? The teacher? You're not waiting for your dad or something?
Mr. Wilkerson: No, no, I'm Ralph Wilkerson.
Mike: Okay. My mistake. Mike Heck, Brick Heck's dad.
Mr. Wilkerson: Hey. Awesome to meet you. Please, have a seat. Now believe it or not, this is my first parent-teacher meeting.
Mike: Oh, I believe it.
Mr. Wilkerson: Yeah, first-time teacher. I really wanna establish a rapport with the parents of my students. You know, you can check in with me anytime on the school web site, or better yet, follow my tweets.
Mike: Yeah, I don't know what that is, but thanks.

Mike: Listen, I wanted to talk to you about letting Brick skip gym. I appreciate you trying to accommodate him, but that's the worst thing you can do.
Mr. Wilkerson: Look, I hear your concerns, and I agree with you. I want Brick to go to gym as well.
Mike: Oh. Great. Then you tell him to go to gym, and I'll see you at parents night.
Mr. Wilkerson: Hold up, hold up, Mike. It's not that easy.
Mike: Yeah, I think it is.
Mr. Wilkerson: Oh, uh, sorry. I... I have the answer ball, so just let me finish my thought. I want Brick to go to gym, but I want Brick to want to go to gym. You know, it's a question of motivation. You know, specifically, the sociocultural theory of scaffolding. We provide children with the building blocks to come to decisions on their own through positive reinforcement. Now it's your turn, Mike. [throws ball to Mike]
Mike: Okay. Instead of all that, you could say, "I'm the teacher. You're the kid. Go to gym."

Mr. Wilkerson: Answer ball? [Mike throws him the ball] Mike, what do you think's gonna happen when Brick sees all of his friends go off to gym to play and have fun and he's all alone back here reading? [throws ball]
Mike: I think he'll love it. [throws ball]
Mr. Wilkerson: Eventually, he'll want to join them. That's what-- It's what my professor called the "positive peer-amid." You'll see, Brick will come to the decision to go to gym on his own. [throws ball]
Mike: No. No, he won't. Brick will read for as long as you let him. [throws ball]
Mr. Wilkerson: Mike, I know kids. [throws ball]
Mike: Well, sure, 'cause you just recently were one. [throws ball]
Mr. Wilkerson: In my experience with children, they react better when you don't force them. [throws ball]
Mike: What experience? [throws ball]
Mr. Wilkerson: Do you think what you've been doing so far is working? [throws ball to Mike] I see you holding the answer ball, but I don't hear an answer.
Mike: [throws the ball at an exhibit] My wife usually does these meetings.

Frankie: Hey. Is Brick back in gym class?
Mike: He is not.
Frankie: What? Why not?
Mike: Things were said. Things were thrown. Things were broken, and it just kinda went downhill from there.
Frankie: Oh, Mike, we finally moved on from Ms. Rinsky, and now we have another teacher who hates us?
Mike: Well, he doesn't hate us. It's worse. He cares. He wants us to interface on a weekly basis, whatever that is, and... We're supposed to fill out this parenting style questionnaire.
Frankie: You brought back homework? [Mike shrugs] Way to go, hammer. Why didn't you say no?
Mike: 'Cause I didn't have the answer ball, okay?

Frankie: [v.o.] That was the nicest thing Axl had ever said to her. Her brother was right. She was a dork optimist, and dork optimists never give up. Sue didn't turtle, which was a miracle, and as she passed her locker, she noticed an even bigger miracle. There were no hormonal teenagers groping each other in front of it. This was her opportunity. This time, she was gonna make it...
Teacher: Sean Hage? [a boy raises his hand] Sue Heck?
Sue: Here!
Hall Monitor: [o.s.] Tardy sweep!

Mike: Would you say our parenting style is proactive, authoritative, or democratic?
Frankie: Oh, no, no. You're trying to rope me in to doing it, and I'm not doing it. Not my homework.
Mike: Aw! Come on.
Frankie: Lonely at the top, isn't it, boss man?
Mike: You know, Frankie, the truth is, the kids don't always listen to me either.
Frankie: You're just saying that 'cause you're stuck on a question, but it's not gonna work.
Mike: No, really. Axl is in his room right now eating a ham on his bed when I told him not to four times.
Frankie: Oh, that's okay. We'll have the last laugh. I got it at the Frugal Hoosier. [laughs] That thing expired two days ago. [both laugh] Relaxed.
Mike: Huh?
Frankie: Our parenting style... Relaxed.
Mike: Thanks. Try and work in the word "scaffolding" somewhere. I don't know what it is, but Mr. Wilkerson will like it.