Sue: What if Mom and Dad got a divorce? Who would we go with?
Axl: Dad.
Brick: Dad.
Sue: Dad.
Frankie: Okay, it's not so much that you all said Dad. It's the swiftness with which you said it. Why don't you just take a minute and think about it before you answer?
Axl: Dad.
Brick: Dad.
Sue: Dad.
Frankie: Okay, then.
Sue: It's nothing personal. I just think Dad would need me more. I don't think he could survive without a woman in his life.

Brick: Actually, now that I think about it, I wouldn't go with Dad.
Frankie: Thank you, Brick.
Brick: I'd go with Axl and April. She smells really nice.
April: I just finished a Life Saver. [chuckles]

Sue: I want my room back!
[When Sue opens the bedroom door, the chain sticks on the newly-installed latch]
Brick: May I help you?
Sue: W-What is this?
Brick: I've added some new security measures. Santiago and I didn't feel safe.
Sue: Tina.
Brick: I don't know who that is.
Sue: Tina is the name I gave my bedroom, and I want her back!
Brick: There's no need for you to raise your voice.

Sue: [grunts] Here's the dealio, Brick. My room at school stinks. Axl's room stinks. I need a sanctuary. When I am a working actress living half the year in Hollywood and the other half on Broadway, then you can have it, but not until then. I was maybe gonna let you use it if I do a semester abroad in Houston, but now we'll have to see.
Brick: Sue, here's the thing about Santiago.
Sue: Tina.
Brick: I didn't expect Santiago and I to get so close.
Sue: Ugh! I gave you my room as a Not Mother's Day gift out of the goodness of my heart, but now I want it back.
Brick: No.
Sue: I need it back. And I would hope that as my brother, you would understand that.
Brick: Your words are moving. But I'm not.
Sue: Okay, fine, Brick. I don't need a sanctuary. I have a sanctuary in here. And just so you know, you are not gonna be visiting me on Broadway or in Hollywood. Maybe Houston. I'd really like the whole family to see that because they have a nice harbor area.

Frankie: I'm not mad, I'm hurt.
Mike: Kind of hard to tell the difference.
Frankie: Okay, fine. I'm mad. And I know everybody was kidding about not wanting to live with me.
Axl: I wasn't.
Sue: Axl, that's mean. Mom, if it makes you feel any better, I'd live with you.
Frankie: No, it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't want your pity vote. If I'm not your first choice, forget it. Conversation over. Although I'd love to know what's so great about this guy.
Axl: Well, he's not yelling at us at 9:30 in the morning. [Frankie sighs]
Sue: I think what A... Axl is trying to say is you can get a little excitable.
Frankie: What do you mean I get excitable? I don't get excitable. Am I excitable now? [Sue nods]
Brick: How can I put this? You're a strong cup of coffee.
Frankie: [sighs] So, you want to live with him? He's boring! I bring vim and verve to this family. I'm like a three-ring circus compared to this guy. He's like watching a Jerry Lewis movie and skipping through all the Jerry Lewis parts.
Kids: Who?

Sue: Hey, Brick. Going out tonight, huh? Are you gonna be out, like, the whole night?
Brick: Uh... no. Actually, I'm not.
Sue: Really? You're not going trick-or-treating?
Brick: No, ma'am.
Sue: Then why are you dressed like a bowling pin?
Brick: No reason.
[out on the street, Cindy, dressed as a bowling ball, checks her watch]
Sue: Huh. Seems like an odd choice of wardrobe just for hanging out.
Brick: Well, the rest of my clothes are in the laundry.
Sue: That is a very plausible story.
Brick: It's why I said it.
Sue: Okay, then. I am going to take out the trash because everything makes sense here. [chuckles]

Mike: Look what the cat dragged in.
Frankie: Ha, ha. [sighs]
Mike: Just for the record, I did go out looking for you. I was following a trail of Tootsie Roll wrappers, but I lost you in some high grass.
Frankie: [sighs] What am I doing wrong?
Mike: That sounds like a morning question.
Frankie: No, seriously. Why do all the kids want to go with you?
Mike: Frankie, it doesn't matter. Here's the thing. I wouldn't take them anyway.
Frankie: [v.o.] I guess when it comes right down to it, we're not like celebrities. We can't leave each other. We don't have enough options. Besides, it's so much easier to split up $50 million than $50. And then, of course, there's the whole love thing.

Axl: All right. Right this way. Then you're gonna take a sharp right. And a sharp left. Couple more paces. All right, so we've all been talking, and we decided you deserved this.
Brick: My own chair? And it's just like everyone else's!
Mike: Welcome to the family!
Brick: I've been waiting 14 years to hear that. [Mike chuckles]
Frankie: How'd you get the exact same one?
Mike: I was looking for the receipt to see where we bought the other chairs, and I found that one under a pile of crap in the basement.

Frankie: It's just so strange.
Mike: I've never seen anything like it.
Sue: Hey, guys. What are you looking at? Whoa. What is Axl doing?
Frankie: I think he's frolicking.
Brick: Is that what love looks like?
Mike: Why you asking us?

Sue: Hey, Brick, got a haircut.
Brick: Ah, it's not my choice. I did it for Cindy. The heart wants what it wants, and apparently it wants vintage Brick.