‘Halloween VI: Tick Tock Death’
Season 7, Episode 6 - Aired October 28, 2015
When Brick dresses as Rod Serling for Halloween, the Hecks find themselves in their own Twighlight Zone scenarios. Frankie, driven mad by a house full of men, finally confronts her obnoxious neighbor, Rita Glossner (Brooke Shields). The sweet life comes to an end for Axl, Hutch and Kenny when they're driven out of the Heck house by a haunting figure. Meanwhile, Mike takes Brick trick-or-treating in Orson Heights, where he glimpses upon his future yet unwritten.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Where were you?
Brick: [sighs] Dad, there's a painting in this house that looks exactly like me. Look, I know it sounds weird, but you have to see it. You have to come back with me.
Mike: Look, I'm trying not to find out the scores of three football games. And every second I spend out here is another second I risk somebody telling me who won. Imagine you had three books you didn't know the endings to, then you're out in a place where a lot of people know the endings.
Brick: I don't understand. If I had three books, why would I go out?
Mike: Exactly.
Brick: Please, Dad. I'm not kidding. It looked exactly like me.
Mike: Fine. We'll look at the creepy painting.
Brick: Well, I didn't say it was creepy. I said it was me.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Hi. Sorry to bother you. My son thinks you have a painting that looks like him, and he wants me to see it.
Cynthia: Oh, uh, this painting? It's "Daniel Crommelin Verplanck" by John Singleton Copley. I-I saw it at the MET, and I bought a copy at the gift shop, 'cause it reminded me of my husband when he was a boy.
Mike: Whoa, Brick, that really does look a lot like you.
Cynthia: Mm. Oh, I guess it does. [chuckles]
Brick: Wow. Is that a library?
Cynthia: Well, yes, that's our downstairs library. We also have one upstairs. [chuckling] Oh, God. My husband and his books. He was right in the middle of one, but, uh, he ran out of time, and so now he's gone.
Mike: I'm sorry to hear that. Well, good night.
Cynthia: Just before he went, he said to me, "Cynthia, there's never gonna be enough time to read everything I want to read."
Brick: Wait a minute. So you're telling me that you married a man who loves books, he looks just like the boy in the painting, and your name is Cynthia?
Cynthia: Oh, yes, but everyone calls me Cindy. [thunder crashes] [door closes]
Quote from Brick
Brick: I'm a time traveler!
Mike: Great. Your next journey is back to our couch.
Brick: Don't you understand the enormity of what's going on here? You don't have to worry about me anymore. I turn out fine. I've got an amazing house in Orson Heights with not one but two libraries. I marry my smoking-hot middle-school girlfriend, and I died reading a boo...
Mike: What's the holdup?
Brick: "What's the holdup?" You mean, other than I just found out future Brick is dead? [sighs] I got to go back there.
Quote from Axl
Hutch: Oh, hey, Mrs. Heck, we're out of Doritos.
Axl: Oh, and, uh, Hutch I got to leave early tomorrow morning to go to practice. Don't worry. We'll be home for dinner. [chuckles] But, uh, Kenny's gonna be stuck here without a car, so you might have to give him a lift up to his classes.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Relax. So, you know, Hutch and I are totally focused on finding a new place. I mean, there might be a little overlap where Kenny has to bunk with you guys for a couple months, but, you know, trust me. I'm on it. [clicks tongue]
Mike: What? He said he's on it.
Frankie: Oh, Axl's on it. I feel so much better.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: All right, listen, since Sue came home, she and I are gonna do the Kelly Ripa-fire-pit thing you boys thought was dumb.
Axl: Wait. Sue is staying here tonight? Did she clear that with anybody?
Frankie: She doesn't have to clear it with anybody. She lives here.
Axl: I'm just saying. It's a slippery slope. Good luck getting Kenny out of her bed. It's like wrestling an alligator.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Yeah, you better run! I'm coming for you, Rita Glossner!
Rita Glossner: You're crazy!
Frankie: Yeah, crazy enough not to take it anymore.
Rita Glossner: You just leave me alone!
Frankie: Yeah, like you left us alone all those years, huh? Huh, Rita? Huh?
Sue: Hey, Mom, I think we made our point. Let's just go home.
Frankie: Shut it, Sue, or I'll take you out, too!
Quote from Axl
Hutch: Hey, should we be looking for a new place?
Axl: Mm, let's see. We're packing away money, eating free good, getting our laundry done. Stop me when something doesn't sound awesome.
Hutch: Oh, no, it's a sweet deal, all right. I just wasn't sure if your mom was cool with us staying here.
Axl: Eh. She complains every once in a while, but secretly, she's happy.
Hutch: Mm.
Axl: See, Hutch, mothers need to mother. That's what they're put on earth for, like a lion that needs to hunt or a squirrel that needs to water-ski on YouTube. Trust me, we are giving her a sense of purpose. She loves to take care of people.
Hutch: It was hard taking care of ourselves.
Axl: Yep. Clearly, we were not very good at it. I think it's best for everyone if we just stay here for a while. Plus, I've never seen Kenny so happy.
Quote from Axl
[Axl opens the door to somebody in a Grim Reaper costumer]
Axl: Ooh. [chuckles] Sorry. I don't have any candy. Go see the people at the end of the driveway. They're dressed as an old lady and a dork. So... [looks out] Oh, guess they left. [sighs] Well, better luck at the next house. [chuckles] Look. I don't have any candy, so just hit the bricks, dude. [closes door] God! Man can't relax at his parents' house anymore. [chuckles] [looks out the window] Oh! [thunder crashing] Hey! I said we don't have any candy. Go to the Donahues'. They got candy corn and root-beer floats!