Sue: I'm sorry I was so selfish. The cake wasn't even that good. It's Frugal Hoosier bakery, so it's basically just a frosted loaf of bread. Is there anything you need? What can I do?
Frankie: No, I'm fine, honey.

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, nothing gets us more excited than the grand opening of a new store.
Frankie: Well, they did it. They outcheaped the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Yesterday's Bounty?
Frankie: I'm telling you, Mike. This is our new place. They've got everything... backed-over bread, preopened pasta.
Mike: Hmm.
Frankie: Generic Chinese cereal. Ooh! Look at this. I got all this for 3 bucks. It's misshapen fruit. Looks like a tumor, but it's fruit. Their word, not mine.

Mike: Got the shrimp.
Frankie: Ah. Good, 'cause I'm dying here. I thought I could make Cindy some caramel apples, but all I could find was a pack of peeps and a black banana. And I ate the peeps. I have a problem.
Mike: Well, we better get on this. The guy at the Frugal Hoosier said this shrimp's got to be eaten within the hour. You have any idea how to make this?
Frankie: I have no clue. We'll just throw it in a pan with some butter. That works for everything.

Brick: Well, that was a bust. Didn't move a single bunny. And somehow, when my back was turned, I ended up with these. [kittens mewling]
Axl: What? How did this happen? God! I gave you one job.
Brick: The only person who wanted the bunnies was a man who worked at the Frugal Hoosier. On a related note, I do not think Mom should buy chicken there anymore.

Frankie: Oh, here's a thought. I was just in the Frugal Hoosier and they have Ronald Reagan inaugural jellybeans. 50 cents a bag. How about we fill a car with them and let people guess how many for a prize?
Pete: Pfft.
Frankie: I don't know, thought it'd be fun.
Mr. Ehlert: Hmm. Clever... ...patriotic, cheap. You know, I was gonna fire you right after the meeting... but I think I'll just move that Post-it to next week.
Frankie: Ha. Hear that, Pete? I'm not fired for another week. Yeah, baby.

Axl: He's like a dog. He found his way home.
Frankie: Oh, Kenny's leaving? It was kind of nice having you here. The Internet's faster, and all our photos are on the cloud now.
Kenny: Thank you, Mrs. Heck. As Axl and Hutch know, my family situation isn't typical, so I appreciate the hospitality. And I'd love to get your chicken salad recipe.
Frankie: Oh, that's from the "Eat it Today" section at the Frugal Hoosier. But you got to do the sniff test first.
Axl: All right.
Hutch: Good to have you back, buddy.

Coach Babbitt: Oh, I'm under obligation to ask if you're eating this chicken tonight.
Mike: Yeah.
Coach Babbitt: Okay, then I can sell it to you.
Mike: Hey, didn't you used to coach my kids at the high school?
Coach Babbitt: Not used to... still do. Tink Babbitt. Got to work two jobs just to break even, but my reward comes when the kids come back and tell me I've impacted their lives. Still waiting on that last one. [scanner beeps] Oh, man. The dent's right on the barcode. Todd, I'm gonna need a price check here! [throws can] So, are you a member of our Frugal Hoosier Misers Club?
Mike: Yep, almost at Tightwad status.
Todd: Tink, 59 cents! [throws can back]
Mike: Say, if you're looking for a second job, how'd you like to hang around a quarry trailer, reading a magazine, and playing in the occasional softball game?
Coach Babbitt: I'd say you got yourself a temp Tink.
Mike: Great.
Coach Babbitt: And now that I don't work here anymore, you shouldn't eat that chicken.

Frankie: [v.o.] When you're raising a quirky kid, people tell you not to worry... they'll outgrow it.
Sue: Hey, Mom. Look. They were just gonna throw this guy away at work, and I saved it. Can you believe no one wanted him? I love balloons.
Frankie: [v.o.] And that's not even the kid I was talking about.
Brick: Where are you going?
Frankie: To the fridge. Brick, I got to get this in there. It's Frugal Hoosier milk. It may already be too late.
Brick: Now where are you going?
Frankie: Taking out the trash.
Brick: How long are you gonna be?
Frankie: I don't know. 10 seconds?

Frankie: [v.o.] Days had gone by, and so far, no retaliation for the boob incident. I was scared to leave my house unattended, but Frugal Hoosier had a sale on Iowa white Chablis, and I was tense.
Sue: Okay, Mom, we got the last three boxes.
Frankie: Great. Throw them in. Okay, come on, let's go.
Sue: Wait, wait. All we have is wine and sherbert.
Frankie: Yeah, we're good.
Frankie: Oh, my God. There she is. Quick, duck down before she sees us.
Sue: Mom, how long do we have to stay like this?
Frankie: Until they leave the store and drive away, and then we have to count to 100.