Mike: What's going on?
Frankie: I don't know, but I am sick of it. He turned 13, and a switch flipped, and all of a sudden, he's a tiny Axl. I'm telling you, we got to nip this in the bud now. We are at a crucial juncture. You know, when Axl went south, we weren't paying attention, and look what happened. And Brick is smarter, so he's more dangerous.
[Mike sighs] Sue, come in here. We're having Axl's birthday ice cream.
Sue: Ugh, no. I can't eat any more. I'm full of fortune cookies.
Frankie: Well, too bad, 'cause we're punishing Brick. And us eating ice cream and him not is part of the punishment. Now lick.
Mike: [groans] How is this teaching him anything? He's not even here to see it.
Frankie: You're right. [walks to Brick's room] Hi. I just wanted you to see that we're all having ice cream and you're not because you're punished. I just wanted you to see this so you know what you're missing so you'll learn for the future. Mike? Sue? Get in here. Mmm. See? We're all having a great time. Mmm! This tastes so good. Show him how good it tastes, guys. Mmm!
Brick: Mmm.
Frankie: Taste the lesson. O-okay. Chop Suey's making a move. We're done punishing you. How smart is your smart mouth now? Not very. I love you. I'm sorry. You brought this on yourself.

Axl: [answers phone] I got the socks. I'm wearing the socks. They're awesome socks.
Mike: What was that about? I asked you to come down here, and you send your friend Sean.
Axl: What? I sent a proxy. That's a word.
Mike: I don't want Sean. I want you.
Axl: What difference does it make? Why does it have to be me?
Mike: Because I want it to be you. So just get your ass home on Saturday.
Axl: Oh, my God! That is so completely arbitrary. That's another word I learned.
Mike: Just do it.
Axl: Ugh! What?! It doesn't make sense that it needs to be me instead of somebody else. Just explain it. I'm 21. I'm an adult now.
Mike: [sighs] You were an adult at 18.
Axl: What?! Why didn't you tell me?! You owe me three years of adulthood.
Frankie: [v.o.] And that's when Mike was forced to do something he didn't want to do. [Mike sighs] He pulled out the dad voice.
Mike: [sternly] Axl, home tomorrow.

Frankie: Hey, what are you doing?
Brick: Well, I'm trying to figure out which book to give away. They're having patron appreciation day at the library, and if you give them a gently-used book, they'll give you a free bookmark with tassel. So, you know, I want to beat the rush.
Frankie: Well, don't forget your jacket. It looks like rain.
Brick: Thanks, Mom, 'cause I'm blind and I've never seen weather before.
Frankie: Okay, look. I know you're a teenager now and you got to rebel a little bit, but this is not the Brick I know. I'm not enjoying the role you're playing here, so you might want to retire this character before I do.
Brick: Well, I'm not exactly enjoying the "nagging mom" character, either.
Frankie: Hey, you better check your attitude, mister.
Brick: Why don't you check your attitude? [whispers] Check your attitude.
Frankie: All right, you know what? I'm not gonna listen to double-whispered nastiness. You're not going to the library for patron appreciation day. You're gonna sit at that table and write a paper about why it's important to respect your mother.
Brick: What?!
Frankie: That's right. 3 pages, double-spaced, 12-point type.
Brick: [sighs] What font?
Frankie: Garamond.

Frankie: You know, the sooner you get your paper done, the sooner you can be doing something fun, like taking that behind-the-scenes tour at the library. I mean, where do those librarians go on their break? You won't know 'cause you're not on the tour.
Brick: Actually, I am doing something fun. I'm reading.
Frankie: No, you're not.
Brick: I'm reading a book in my mind. I've memorized all my books. Now I'm turning the page... page 12.
Frankie: All right, stop it. Stop it right now. You're being punished.
Brick: [laughs] That's a funny part.
Frankie: I mean it, Brick.
Brad: I know what's coming, and yet I still laugh. That's how you know it's good writing.
Frankie: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna stop you from reading in your head by reading from one of my books out loud. [picks up a magazine] "From homeless to sexy. Just two years ago, Angela McCullum was living by the rail road tracks. She never dreamed that someday she'd be walking down the red carpet in a size-2 gown." Kind of hard to concentrate, isn't it? "The author of the best-selling cookbook Fabulous Foraging, Angela confesses her life changed after a chance encounter with Gwyneth Paltrow."

Axl: All right. I'm here. Let's get this over with so I can go back to my life. Bunch of dudes are filling up the back of this guy's truck and throwing me a pool party.
Mike: Well, as fun as that sounds, you might like the surprise I planned for you. We're not moving the freezer.
Axl: What? I came all the way down here for nothing?
Mike: No, no. It's good. I got you to come home so we could go out and grab a beer.
Axl: Oh, my God. Why would you do that?
Mike: 'Cause it's something a father does with his 21-year-old son.
Axl: You don't get it. I was gonna swim in the back of a truck. But then you trick me into coming here to have a beer with you... that doesn't make any sense.

Mike: You know, I remember, when I was a kid, it was February. I was lying on the concrete basement floor. My mom was doing laundry. It was February, and I was thinking, "Man, spring is never gonna come. There's never gonna be grass again." And now... It goes fast is what I'm saying. A minute ago, I was sitting in your seat.
Axl: What do you mean? Before I came in here?
Mike: No. I mean, i-it seems like I was just 21. Let's just drink.
Axl: Okay. [both drink]
Mike: Happy Birthday.
Axl: Oh, thanks.

Mike: Hey, I know it's hard, but you'll see him soon. I'm having him come home this weekend to help move that old freezer out of the garage. Thing's probably cost us 1,000 bucks to freeze old bananas to make banana bread that we all know you're never gonna make.

Frankie: [v.o.] Well, I might have lost Axl, about to lose Sue, but at least I still had my sweet Brick. Unfortunately, with teenagers, that can change overnight.
Frankie: Oh, hey, listen... I put the permission slip for your trip to the honey farm in your backpack. Bring back samples.
Brick: Whatever. [kicks door shut]

Sue: Oh, I'm sorry, but we're closed.
Belinda: I'm not here for potatoes. I'm here for you. Belinda Barnes... manager at Chop Suey U.S.A.
Sue: Hi, I'm Sue Heck. I love your egg rolls. I eat them in the bathroom 'cause Spudsy's frowns on us buying the competition's food, so...
Belinda: I been watching you, Sue Heck. You're a hard worker. When I see what you do with potatoes, I get excited to think what you could do with cabbage and noodles. I'll cut to the chase. I'm putting together a Chop Suey dream team, and I want you.
Sue: You do?
Belinda: I've already got a verbal commitment from the salt guy at Wetzel's Pretzels pending a blood-pressure test. Think it over. But if I don't have an answer by the end of the week, I got to move on.

Frankie: Hey, hey, hey. Where are you going? Don't forget to put your bowl in the sink.
Brick: It's right there.
Frankie: Yeah. It's not my bowl, it's your bowl.
Brick: You bought it, so technically it's yours. You just loan it to me.