Frankie: We thought Sue was in a ditch, and we came to the rescue. I'm not going to apologize for that.
Sue: Well, maybe your phone is wrong, or maybe you're misreading it. No offense, but your typeface is already set as big as it can go.
Frankie: Well, this wouldn't be the first time you weren't where you said you were gonna be. That's right. Dad has been tracking you all week.
Sue: [gasps] Dad?
Mike: Hey, the tracking was your mom's idea. You want to talk about saying you're in one place when you're really in another, Miss "I'm at Curves when I'm really at Cracker Barrel". [Axl gasps]
Frankie: Yeah, well, I know that sometimes you sit in your car at the end of the street for half an hour before you come home at night. Yeah, I understood it when the kids were little, but now it's becoming a little personal.

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, there's nothing a parent looks forward to like our kids coming home from college for the summer.
Frankie: Get this crap out of my doorway.
Sue: Oh, come on, Mom. I only have a week till I ship off to Dollywood. This is my vacation.
Axl: Yeah, we just had finals. We got to recharge.
Frankie: When am I supposed to recharge? I've been empty for years.
Axl: You can recharge once we're grown. For now, would you mind quick grabbing me a pop? [off Frankie's look] Wow. I thought she loved us.
Frankie: Okay, guys, this is not how it's gonna go. I am not stepping over Mount Craperest every time I want to get into the house. I am tired, and I need you to get off your butts and move your stuff now. [both groan]
Axl: God, fine! Do you know there's, like, three other ways to get into the house? There's the back door, the garage, the chimney.

Brick: Hi, Mrs. Hilsabeck. Graduation's coming up, and I just want to get some parameters on my valedictorian speech. Don't worry. I'm gonna steer clear of any political issues. Eh, except maybe library hours. I'm not ready to give up that fight.
Mrs. Hilsabeck: Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, Brick, but I don't know that you're a shoo-in for valedictorian. Last I heard, it was still between you and another student.
Brick: So who is it?
Mrs. Hilsabeck: It's against school policy to give out that kind of information.
Brick: Of course. And I would never ask you to do anything against such policy. So I'm just gonna leave this dollar bill here on the counter, and if it finds its way into your coin purse and the information mysteriously ends up in my locker... so be it.

Sue: Oh, my God. What is with Mom? Like our stuff is so offensive to her all of a sudden.
Axl: That woman runs on anger. It's her fuel.
Sue: Mm-hmm.
Axl: [cellphone buzzes] Oh! He-hey! Awesome. There's a house party at Mando's tonight.
Sue: Mm.
Axl: Thinking I might head over around 10:00.
Sue: Okay, Axl, I know I'm staying in your room, but I don't need to know your whole schedule. And FYI, you don't need to announce your farts, either.
Axl: I'm being polite. Anyways, I was seeing if you wanted to come, a decision I'm already starting to regret.
Sue: You're inviting me to a party?! [chuckles] Wait. What's your game?
Axl: I just took a wild guess and assumed you weren't up to anything tonight. Thought you might want to come with. But if you're gonna be all Sue about it...
Sue: No. No, no, no, no. I'll come. I'll totally come. I'm cool. I'm down. I'm dope. I won't talk like that at the party, I promise.

Mike: What's going on? Why is that one yelling about pancakes?
Frankie: It's 2:00 in the morning and your kids just got home.
Mike: You're just getting home now?
Frankie: They didn't call. They didn't text.
Axl: Oh, my God. You're acting like I have a curfew! I'm over 21! I'm old enough to die for our country!
Mike: Don't worry. I'll save you the trip. Did it even cross your mind that your mom and I might be worried about you?
Axl: You weren't even up! Your hair's all funny. You were obviously sleeping.
Mike: What, are you a lawyer now?

Frankie: Hey, don't try to deflect the attention away from what you did. You were out all night, we didn't know where you were...
Axl: So? At school we stay out all night. You don't know where we are. I hate to break it to you, Mom, but sometimes I stay out really late, and sometimes I don't come home at all. [gasps] Audible gasp!
Sue: Yeah. I've been out late at school, too, and not all of them were fire drills.

Mike: Look, you may do whatever you want when you're up at school and we can't see you, but as long as you're staying under our roof, you're gonna follow our rules.
Axl: You are really pulling out the classics now, Dad. Why don't you, uh, shake your first and throw out a, uh, "Because I said so"?
Frankie: It's common courtesy. Do you think your dad and I would stay out all night without letting each other know where we're going?
Sue: You guys don't go anywhere!
Frankie: Because you've sucked the life out of us!
Sue: What are you so worried about? Do you think I'm gonna, like, end up in a ditch somewhere? I make good choices. Tonight the waitress asked if I wanted another chocolate milk, and I said no!
Mike: You'll get it when you have kids of your own someday.
Axl: Yes, I know.
Mike: Classics are classics for a reason. And here's another one... Your new curfew is 10:00.
Axl: Pbht! Whatever. [scoffs]

Sue: Axl! Axl, it's almost 10:00. We got to go. Remember that time my car broke down and I missed curfew? I ended up getting hives.
Axl: Oh, my God. Chill. That 10:00 curfew thing was not real. That was just Dad trying to scare us.
Sue: I don't know. He sounded pretty serious.
Axl: We won that argument. Dad said, "10:00," then I said, "Whatever." There's no coming back from "whatever." When you say "whatever," you've won.

Mike: Who won?
Frankie: I did. You fell asleep, and I switched over to Cake Boss.
Mike: What time is it?
Frankie: Uh... 12:00.
Mike: Are the kids home?
Frankie: Nope, they're still out.
Mike: What? I said be home by 10:00.
Frankie: Oh, come on. Nobody thought that was real. We never really resolved it. I mean, Axl did say, "Whatever."
Mike: Right. You only say "whatever" when you don't have a comeback. When you say "whatever," you've lost.
Frankie: Wait. You were serious? Oh, I thought you were all like, "Rrrrrgh! 10:00! No big drinks at the movies!"

Brick: Hey, Cindy. I know we're in an awkward situation. I-I think the only right thing to do is for both of us to just give it our all.
Cindy: Thank you, Brick. That means a lot to me. I just want you to know... and I've never said this before... I love you.