Axl: All right. Thank you all for signing in. As you can see, we are sitting in the dining room featuring a low-maintenance Formica table. And over here, we have the European-style kitchen featuring a fridge and bonus second-story access. Now, the fridge holds up to three cans of your favorite beverage and an apple.
Hutch: Now, you might want to supplement that with a cooler or two, but on the plus side, you can use them for seats. That's right. The possibilities of 'Bago living are endless.
Axl: Now if you'll kindly follow us to the bathroom. And I urge all of you to stay together. I don't want to lose anyone. [A girl runs out after sticking her head into the bathroom] You get used to that! You... [door closes] It's not for everyone. [chuckles]

Mike: [answers phone] Hello?
Dr. Goodwin: Are you alone?
Mike: Yes.
Dr. Goodwin: Good. So, I did what you said. When Frankie asked how it went, I said, "Fine."
Mike: Great.
Dr. Goodwin: Wait. There's more. I said you had mesial distal occlusal with a slight pulp horn exposure. You got that? Mesial distal occlusal with a slight pulp horn exposure.
Mike: Or you could have just said you took care of it, and we're done.
Dr. Goodwin: I wish you would have told me that before, 'cause I said you need to come in for a follow-up appointment.
Mike: Why'd you tell her that?
Dr. Goodwin: Because you had a mesial distal occlusal with a slight pulp horn exposure!
Mike: I didn't!
Dr. Goodwin: Listen, if we're gonna get away with this, we got to get our story straight. This thing lives or dies in the details. Now, Frankie's coming home with the appointment card. Just act casual. This conversation never happened.

Dr. Goodwin: Mike!
Mike: What are you doing?!
Dr. Goodwin: Listen, I realized when we left the office to go get a beer, we were on the security cam.
Mike: So?
Dr. Goodwin: So if Frankie sees the tape, she'll know that we left early, and I wouldn't have had time to do a mesial distal occlusal with slight pulp horn exposure.
Mike: Look, you're way overthinking this. Why would Frankie ever look at the security tape?
Dr. Goodwin: Doesn't matter. I got ahead of this. I told Frankie you and I went outside because there were miscreants in the parking lot. We wanted to see what they were up to. They ran away, but they'd broken into my car and stole my coat. That's why I'm not wearing one now. By the way, I donated it to charity so I wouldn't mess up and wear it to work.
Mike: Wait. If Frankie was looking at the security tape, wouldn't she wonder why we didn't go back in and finish the procedure?
Dr. Goodwin: Ah, ding-dangit! You're right. [inhales sharply] Okay! We can tell her we came in the side door, because the miscreants might still be out there. Okay, so, what's our next move?
Mike: My next move is going in the house.
Dr. Goodwin: Good idea. Act normal.

Lexie: Oh, hey, you're home earlier than I expected. How'd it go?
Sue: Oh, it went great. We had so much fun. Me and him... and his girlfriend!
Lexie: What? No! Why wouldn't Tyler tell you he had a girlfriend?
Sue: I don't know, but her name is Julia, and the sad thing is, she's not awful. We shared popcorn, and she mixed in M&M'S, which is a really good idea, and I can't believe I haven't thought of it before, and, oh, my God, I'm so stupid! I read all his signals wrong. Tyler only thought of me as a friend.
Lexie: Oh, Sue. This sucks. I am so sorry.
Sue: No, it's my fault, really. I talked too much about my heavy periods. I dropped myself right into the friend zone.
Lexie: Yeah, that'd do it.
Sue: Uh! I'm so embarrassed! Aurora, put sugar in my mouth.
Aurora: I'm sorry. I cannot process your request.
Lexie: Aurora can't, but I can.

Brick: Well, they voted on the musical, and I lost. Which means either Cindy or Troy did not vote for me.
They went with Carousel. Fa-resh.
Frankie: Oh, well. At least you tried. That's the main thing. For a Heck, that's a win.
Brick: I'm telling you, it's "Orson, The Heartland's Hidden Gem" all over again. I was so close... to have victory snatched from my grasp like that. I guess America's just not ready for historical Scottish rap. Boy, I read that wrong.
Frankie: Ah, you're just too cutting edge for people around here. I mean, we just got a P.F. Chang's. Anyway, there's always next year.
Brick: Oh, I'm not giving up on my musical. I'll be workshopping it every weekend here at the house if need be.
Frankie: Oh. But no bagpipe music. I-It's a whole homeowners' association thing. That's why we can't paint the house.
Brick: Hmm.

Frankie: Hey, why didn't you tell me about all that excitement the other night?
Mike: Oh, uh... well, there's nothing much to tell. There were some miscreants. [yawns] I'm going to bed.
Frankie: It's only 6:30.
Mike: Pfft. It must be the medication he's got me on, I guess. I'm babbling. Why are we talking? I don't like talking. Good night.

Frankie: Oh, wait. I just remembered. There's a security camera. We could get the footage for that night and find out who it is.
Mike: Um... if you look at the tape, you won't see us coming back in the building, 'cause we came in through a side door.
Frankie: Didn't the alarm go off?
Mike: Uh, no. Uh, Dr. Goodwin had a special key.
Frankie: What? That door has a keypad.
Mike: Yeah. Keypad. You cut me off.
Frankie: So, he does have the code. I can't believe Dr. Goodwin keeps telling me he doesn't have the code. [sighs] I have to park on the side and walk all the way around to the front, and he knows I hate walking. I'm gonna talk to him about that.
Mike: Uh, you know, don't. He's having a bad week.
Frankie: Why do you say that?
Mike: Uh...

Axl: Well... guess this is it.
Hutch: This 'Bago gave us a lot of good times. And several fairly serious recurring leg rashes.
Axl: Hey, you remember that time Kenny was sitting right there, and he laughed?
Hutch: Hell yeah. You don't forget Kenny's first laugh. Well, if you need me, I'm staying with my girlfriend's cousin Ronald. His nickname is "Bear." He thinks guys bond by wrestling.
Axl: Hey, it's not like this is goodbye.
Hutch: No, no. Of course not. We're still gonna be seeing a lot of each other.
Axl: Oh, sure. Sure. I mean, weren't we gonna have to do this in three months anyway? [chuckles] [voice breaking] That's three more months we could have had together. [Axl, Hutch & Kenny hug]

Axl: I got it back.
Hutch: Yeah, I see. Now we're gonna have to rehearse what we're gonna say to the police?
Axl: Nah, it's cool.
Hutch: How'd you get it back?
Axl: I just told those guys that they're now legally responsible for all the 40 parking tickets we left unpaid.
Hutch: No, they're not.
Axl: They don't know that, but as a law student, I do.
Hutch: You're not a law student.
Axl: They don't know that, either. Now we're gonna take this thing down to the quad and throw the most epic rager in the history of East Indy!
Hutch: Wiggly-guy high five.

Dr. Goodwin: And don't worry, Mike. I promise, I'll be gentle. Look at these little woman hands. When I hold hands with a girl, sometimes I can't tell who's who. [chuckles]