Darrin: Mr. Heck, sir...
Mike: Darrin, listen. I don't dislike you. All in all, you're a pretty good guy. I'm just not gonna like anyone... anyone who's looking to take away my daughter. It makes me grumpy. You can understand that, right?
Darrin: Yes, sir. But I'll try to be better anyway.
Mike: Good plan.

Axl: Tell us your decision! We need an answer!
Darrin: No! I don't want to!
Axl: If you don't, we'll whitewash you!
Darrin: Okay, okay! King Moonracer... is a toy.
Sean: I'm sorry, man. No hard feelings?
Axl: I just need a minute.

Darrin: You're doing it wrong. You're making a girl angel. You should make a boy angel.
Axl: There's no such thing as a boy snow angel. Snow angels are unisex.
Darrin: Unisex? That doesn't make sense.
Sean: Hey, man, he's still raw. Let him be.

Sue: Wow, Darrin. Well, you're a homeowner. Congratulations. This is so exciting for you.
Darrin: Actually, Sue, there's one more surprise. The house isn't mine.
Sue: It isn't?
Darrin: No. It's ours. [gets down on one knee] Sue Heck, will you marry me?