Frankie: [cellphone vibrates] "Do I like green beans?" [scoffs] "Yes. Only with butter."
Brick: Hey! You're still parenting Sue.
Frankie: [sighs] Brick, you're in eighth grade. Sue just started college. It's like triage. Who do we save? Sue's the cerebral hemorrhage, and you're the sprained ankle. So, sorry, you've been tagged "non-critical."
Brick: Fine. Then I won't even tell you about the pep rally. And as for this emergency medical form, I guess I'll just put me.
Frankie: I swear... we're gonna care so much for high school.

Axl: Wow. That's a lot of ants. Where did our bowl of syrup go?
Hutch: They must have carried it off. And that was our only bowl!
Axl: Hey. I think they spelled out "more syrup."
Hutch: Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. Anteater.
Axl: You read my mind.
Hutch: Going on Craigslist right now.

Frankie: Oh. Okay. I'm gonna put her on speaker. Really listen this time. [cellphone beep] Hi, honey. How's it going?
Sue: Yeah, I can't talk, but I just wanted to let you know that some girls across the hall invited me to the lounge to hang out and listen to this guy on our floor play guitar. He wears sandals and looks like Jesus, and he wrote this song called "Blowin' in the Wind," I think.
Frankie: Wow. Well, that sounds great.
Sue: Yeah, we're gonna push the couches back and sit in a circle and listen to him play! [sighs] It's really starting, Mom. I love college. Got to go. [call ends]
Mike: Yeah, I guess I missed the tremble.

Mike: [cellphone vibrates] Hang on. Says she's got one more thing.
Frankie: Okay. You know what? No. No, no, no. I'm making a decision. We are cutting the cord.
Mike: Oh, you're making that decision just right now, are you?
Frankie: Listen, you were right. I mean, with Sue, it's always one more thing. One more story, one more hug, one more glass of water. No, we... We just have to close the door and say good night. Ferberize our freshman.
Mike: I'm saying, "I'm sure you'll figure it out. It's late. We're going to bed."
Frankie: Oh, that's... that's a little harsh. Just send her an emoji.
Mike: [sighs] [beep] I think I sent a frog.
Frankie: That's good. She likes frogs.

Brick: [gasps] Okay, seriously, what do you want from me? I already said I don't have anything, so if this is some kind of shakedown...
Troy: I don't want anything.
Brick: Then why are you protecting me?
Troy: I know what it's like to be the little guy who gets picked on.
Brick: You do?
Troy: In my family, my nickname is Tiny.
Brick: So you were just being nice? Now I wish there was some way I could repay you.
Troy: Actually, there is something.
[later, at home, Brick and Troy dance to C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat" plays]

Sue: Axl. What's going on? Oh, my God. Mom and Dad are dead.
Axl: No. They're fine. I just thought maybe you'd want to get some pizza or something.
Sue: Really?
Axl: That's another question. You're down to six.

Frankie: Aw, see, Mike? I have to beg Axl to call, but Sue's only been at college three days, and she's already texting that she loves me. See, that's what's so great about having a daughter. "Love you back." [beep] [cellphone vibrates] "Love you more." "Love you to the moon and back." [beep] [cellphone vibrates] "Love you to the moon and back and back to the moon." [chuckles] "Okay. Watching Castle now."

Sue: Oh, uh, excuse me. Lindsey?
Lindsey: Oh, hey. You having a problem with your lamp, too?
Sue: Oh, no. It's just, uh, my roommate still hasn't shown up, and it's been three days.
Lindsey: Yeah. That's weird.
Sue: Yeah. It's just been hard, you know, 'cause there have been all these activities, and everybody tends to go with their roommates, and I just kind of had this idea of me and my roomie hanging out and getting to know each other, and I kind of thought freshman week was supposed to be this... Magical time.
Lindsey: Yeah. It can be... For some people.
Sue: So, anyway, do you know when Holly might be showing up? I figured you were the person to ask.
Lindsey: And you did. So... Yeah.

Frankie: Hey!
Mike: No. I know it's tough, but she's prepared. She knows how to kill a bug, how to turn off a gas line, how to rototill a yard. She's ready. We just got to let her start figuring out stuff for herself.
Frankie: What if it's about her roommate?
Mike: "Wearing blue skirt with blue shirt. Too much blue?"
Frankie: [scoffs] It is, Mike. It is. She has to break it up with something.

Bully #1: Where you going, reader?
Bully #2: Hey, are you the kid that just did that stupid dance?
Brick: Uh... Yes.
Bully #1: What? Do you like the library or something?
Brick: I do. You know, if you embrace reading, it might change your life.
Bully #2: Okay. Who wants to punch it first?
Troy: Hey. Leave him alone.
Bully #2: Whoa. Okay, fine, bookmark. But I'll remember where we left off.
Brick: [laughs] Good one. Oh, you didn't get that? Well, kudos, it was clever.
Bully #2: My name's not Kudos, idiot.
Brick: Oh, for the love of God. Visit your local library.