Mike: Welcome to my empire, Yakutsk. Rusty, you know what? You're right. This is fun.
Rusty: Oh, sure. Yeah, you got to relive the old days while you have the chance. Like, remember when we were little? Remember that one time? You pretended to be dead. [chuckles] And I cried. [chuckles] And you still pretended to be dead, so I cried more. And then you laughed and called me a moron and tickled me till peed myself... [chuckles] And I cried.
Mike: What? I never did that.
Rusty: Sure you did. You used to do that stuff to me all the time.
Mike: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about. Like what kind of stuff?
Rusty: Well, you told me Jesus didn't love me. That one hurt because all the kids at Sunday school always said, "Jesus loves me." So I thought, "Man, this Jesus guy loves everybody. What's his beef with me?"
Mike: Wow. Rusty, I'm sorry.
Rusty: There was this one time you locked me in the closet all night. And I cried, and you said if I didn't stop crying, then Bobby Sherman would kill our mom.
Mike: Bobby Sherman the singer?
Rusty: Yeah.
Mike: Why would you believe that Bobby Sherman the singer was gonna kill mom?
Rusty: Because I believed everything you told me. Like, remember in high school? I wanted to be a meteorologist, but you told me my body would look womanly against the weather map. That's when I got into the old pet-dirt biz. And we all know how that worked out.