Axl: Check me out. Just read this whole book, cover to cover.
Mike: Wow. First Cat In The Hat, and now this.
Axl: Hey, you told me to get informed. But this is, like, way harder than I thought it was gonna be. Seriously, sheriff? How do you pick? I like this guy 'cause he's serious about crime. But then this other guy's gonna get tough on crime. [inhales sharply, blows raspberry] What sheriff are you guys gonna vote for?
Mike: Uh, we haven't really made up our minds yet.
Axl: What about the city council? You liking Paul Delvecchio or Jennifer Farley?
Frankie: Yeah, I'm leaning toward Delvecchio.
Axl: Oh, are you? Are you really? 'Cause they're both people from Jersey Shore. You guys haven't even looked at this, have you?
Frankie: Okay, so maybe we don't always vote for the little offices, but we vote for the big guys, like president.
Mike: You know, maybe it's a good thing that he's studying up on the sheriffs. He's never gonna meet a president, but I bet money you're gonna run into a sheriff some day. Might want to take a look at those judges, too.
Axl: You two are what's wrong with America.