Brick: Hey, Axl, I finally heard about the day I was born.
Axl: Sweet! Now I can finally go swimming at the Fergusons.
Brick: Fergusons? Who are the Fergusons?
Frankie: Damn it, Axl! You had to blow it! He bought it! We were in the clear. It had heart. It had funny. Great attention to detail. I mean, come on! The sauerkraut by the sink? I pulled that out of my...
Mike: You had to make up a story where I look like an idiot? I won't pay 10 bucks for parking? I'm cheap and a wuss? This is a football scar. From football. Not passing out.
Sue: This is the unicorn all over again.
Mike: I don't pass out. The people at work know I've never passed out.
Axl: A courtesy text would've been nice! I'm not a mind reader.
Brick: You made all that up!? All right. No one gets out of this room until I get the real story. The true, non-made-up, actual, fact-based story. I'm waiting.
Frankie: [sighs] All right, Brick. We'll tell you the real story of the day you were born.
Mike: I am gonna need a beer for this.