306. Bad Choices
Aired October 19, 2011
With the Heck home falling apart, Frankie and Mike consider moving to an apartment. Meanwhile, Axl pretends to be sick to get out of a school test, but needs to convince Frankie he's well enough to go to a party. Meanwhile, Sue and Brad volunteer to perform a school skit about the dangers of texting while driving, and Brick starts delivering Shakesperian monologues.
Quote from Sue
Sue: It's all a part of our skit. Brad and I are "Team Sober Non-Texting and Driving" ambassadors. We were specially chosen out of the entire school.
Teacher: And we're still looking for volunteers to perform an educational skit during "Don't Be Scared, Be Aware" week.
[Sue and Brad are the only ones to raise their hands]
Sue: We get to write, direct, and perform in front of the whole student body. Everyone is counting on us! [screams]
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Axl, you don't sound too good.
Axl: I don't feel too good. I'm supposed to go to that Hoosier game with Sean tonight. I guess I should call him and tell him I can't go.
Frankie: Whoa, you are sick. Okay, you know, just go get into bed. We'll bring you something in there. We don't need you hacking over all our food.
Frankie: And the way you're sounding, you might have to miss school tomorrow.
Axl: No! I have to go! I have a test tomorrow! I've been studying and everything!
Frankie: You'll just have to make it up, Axl. If you're sick, you're sick. [coughs]
Mike: You think he's faking?
Frankie: No, he was coughing at the block party.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Are you getting sick again?
Axl: No, I'm done. I mean, maybe. You never know with all this bogus moving stuff going on.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Okay, look. Nobody's moving anywhere unless we all agree.Okay? We're a family, and we all get a vote. Besides, we're just looking. It means nothing. [walks into the apartment] Oh, my God!
Debbie: Hi. I'm Debbie.
Darrin: Hi. The assistant manager. Welcome to Hickory Arms.
Frankie: Wow. It's so big.
Darrin: Well, it's a 3-bedroom, 2-bath unit, open concept, with fabulous 9-foot ceilings.
Frankie: Oh, and look how dry they are. Ooh, Mike. New carpet. Oh, and your hand stays clean.
Axl: You do realize this isn't our furniture, right once we move our crappy stuff in here, it's just gonna look like our house.
Frankie: Guys, what did I say? We're just looking. Everybody gets a vote.
Quote from Frankie
Debbie: And the kitchen is newly renovated with tons of upgrades.
Debbie: Granite counters, energy star appliances, so your utility bills will be nice and low.
Frankie: Did you hear that, Mike? Low utility bills.
Mike: I heard. I'm closer to her than you are.
Frankie: Oh, my God. Are those what I think they are? [gasps] Dimmers! The only way our lights dim is when we turn on the microwave and the toaster at the same time. [laughs]
Sue: Axl? Do something. Mom's really liking this place. I don't want to move!
Axl: Don't worry. If Dad doesn't like it, it's not happening. We once looked at a sandwich shop 'cause Mom thought she could run it.
Debbie: Oh, and I don't know if you noticed, but the sliding glass doors lead out onto your own private deck.
Frankie: Oh! Oh. Oh! Look, Mike. Can you believe it? [slides door] One finger. [laughs] I could do this all day.