‘A Very Marry Christmas’
Season 8, Episode 9 - Aired December 13, 2016
Frankie is delighted when Axl returns home and breaks his silence, while Sue struggles to keep his secret. Mike doesn't know how to respond when Bill Norwood gives him a Christmas present. Meanwhile, Brick is asked to look after the neighbor kids for a few hours.
Quote from Mike
Mike: What the hell were you thinking?!
Axl: I wasn't thinking... you should know that! I'm very vulnerable!
Frankie: Well, I sent you that dirty carrot, and you ignored it!
Mike: Hey, hold on! Hold on, hold on. Did you have to marry her?
Axl: No.
Mike: That makes it worse!
Quote from Sue
Sue: I told him to tell you! I was the only one who knew! It was killing me! I stress-chewed my cheeks till they're hamburger!
Quote from Frankie
Mike: No! You get away from those Wise Men! You've got no business being around Wise Men.
Axl: I wanted to tell you guys, but I didn't want to ruin your Christmas.
Brick: That ship has sailed.
Frankie: I can't believe you did this! You got married and you didn't even tell me? You didn't even invite me! I know I would've been stuck wearing a stupid yellow dress 'cause that's what always happens to boy moms. We always are the last to find out! But I didn't think I would be the very last to find out!
Quote from Mike
Frankie: All right. So, what do you want to do, Axl?
Axl: I don't know.
Frankie: What do you mean you don't know? Do you love April?
Axl: Yeah, I love her. I just don't know if I wife love her.
Mike: Well, if you don't love her now, there is no way in hell you're gonna love her later.
Quote from Axl
Sharron: I'm gonna kill her. She's such an idiot.
Mike: He's got her beat at being an idiot all day long.
David: But we love Axl.
Frankie: Oh, and we love April. She's a delight.
Axl: Okay, done. Well, I seem to find myself recently single. You want to maybe, uh, go on a date? You know, grab a slice of pizza or something?
April: I do. I mean, I'd like that. [laughs]
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] So, that Christmas, instead of getting Axl a new transmission, we got him an annulment. Sue got her family back, Brick got a little peace, and I got pulled over by a cop... if you know what I mean.