Mike: What the hell were you thinking?!
Axl: I wasn't thinking... you should know that! I'm very vulnerable!
Frankie: Well, I sent you that dirty carrot, and you ignored it!
Mike: Hey, hold on! Hold on, hold on. Did you have to marry her?
Axl: No.
Mike: That makes it worse!

Sue: I told him to tell you! I was the only one who knew! It was killing me! I stress-chewed my cheeks till they're hamburger!

Mike: No! You get away from those Wise Men! You've got no business being around Wise Men.
Axl: I wanted to tell you guys, but I didn't want to ruin your Christmas.
Brick: That ship has sailed.
Frankie: I can't believe you did this! You got married and you didn't even tell me? You didn't even invite me! I know I would've been stuck wearing a stupid yellow dress 'cause that's what always happens to boy moms. We always are the last to find out! But I didn't think I would be the very last to find out!

Frankie: All right. So, what do you want to do, Axl?
Axl: I don't know.
Frankie: What do you mean you don't know? Do you love April?
Axl: Yeah, I love her. I just don't know if I wife love her.
Mike: Well, if you don't love her now, there is no way in hell you're gonna love her later.

Sharron: I'm gonna kill her. She's such an idiot.
Mike: He's got her beat at being an idiot all day long.
David: But we love Axl.
Frankie: Oh, and we love April. She's a delight.
Axl: Okay, done. Well, I seem to find myself recently single. You want to maybe, uh, go on a date? You know, grab a slice of pizza or something?
April: I do. I mean, I'd like that. [laughs]

Frankie: [v.o.] So, that Christmas, instead of getting Axl a new transmission, we got him an annulment. Sue got her family back, Brick got a little peace, and I got pulled over by a cop... if you know what I mean.