Axl: The point is, I no longer need my car, which means one of you two lucky recipients is about to be the proud owner of a brand-new...ly acquired, mid-sized, style-free, gray sedan.
Sue: Wait, wait, wait. If anyone's getting the car, it should be me. I'm older.
Brick: No, I should get it. You already have Aunt Edie's car.
Axl: Whoa, hey! I've already decided who's getting the car. Okay? The winner of this competition. [rubs palms]
Sue: Okay, Axl, that is ridiculous. We're not a couple of trained poodles just waiting around to dance...
Axl: First question! What's my favorite sandwich?
Sue: I know this one! Cereal on white bread.
Axl: Sorry. You didn't buzz in.
Brick: Buzz! What is cereal on white bread?
Sue: I didn't know I had to buzz in.
Axl: What game show do you not buzz in?

Axl: All right, next question. Does Sue or does Sue not keep her old braces in a drawer next to her bed?
Sue: [gasps] How did you know that?
Brick: Buzz! Yes.
Axl: Wow, Sue. That was supposed to be easy. I was throwing you a bone on that one. Speaking of bones, what is my most clever reference to Sue as a dog?
Sue: [gasps] Oh! Licks up my own barf. Buzz! Licks up my own barf.
Axl: That is correct! And the judges would have also accepted "pees on trees."
Sue: Yes!
Axl: What game did we play when we were out camping where we used all the old game pieces?
Mike: [o.s.] Battleboggleopoly.
Sue: Wha... Dad, that's not fair! Are you playing or not?! Is he playing or not? Also, what's the rule about buzzing in? 'Cause sometimes you only accept buzzes, and sometimes you don't accept buzzes...

Brick: I like the inflatable palm tree. I'm doing a little microfiche niche where your bed used to be, a "fiche-niche," as it were. A palm tree will hip it up nicely.

Axl: What are you doing?
Brick: I'm saving my seat for tomorrow. Since you refuse to respect the fact that I called it, I will occupy it until we go.
Axl: Brick, it's our last night sleeping in our room. Don't you want to spend it like we spent the last 16 years? Side by side, as brothers, talking into the night? Come on, man. Where's your heart?
Brick: With the rest of my body in a window seat, and it's not moving.
Axl: All right, fine, you're not gonna come to our room, I'll come to you.

Frankie: [sighs] Wow. Think about it. This is the last night we're gonna have all three kids living here under one roof.
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: I love this feeling. When your body just knows that they're safe and sound and right next to you in their beds. [sighs]

Axl: Pbht. Okay! I have to tell you guys something. Sue, get in here!
Sue: Oh, no. It's Denver, isn't it? You're going. No! Staying. No! Going! My heart is beating like a rabbit. Just tell me!
Axl: I've decided to take the job.
Sue: [wails] Noooo! I thought I'd be okay once you said it, but I'm not okay. I am really not okay with this, Axl. [sobs] You know, I know we fight, and you're mean and insult me, and you spray cheese up my nose when I'm asleep, but I don't want you to move away. And Denver's far. It's really far.

Frankie: Good morning.
Mike: Hey. You're up early.
Frankie: Yeah. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining. Might as well get up and enjoy it.
Mike: You're still high on cookies.
Frankie: Li'I bit.

Frankie: Morning.
Axl: Um... hi. So, you were awake when I opened your door last night?
Frankie: I sure was.
Axl: So you remember about the... Denver, and the... going?
Frankie: I sure do. And I didn't get to say it last night, so I'm gonna say it now. Congratulations, honey. I am so proud of you. [hugs Axl]
Axl: Oh! Hoo! I think I just breathed for the first time since yesterday. [Frankie chuckles]

Frankie: [v.o.] So, Axl had only 30 days to tie up loose ends, and the first on that list was learning to tie an actual tie.
Sue: Oh, Axl. Got a moment for our moment?
Axl: Sue, seriously, this is not happening. We are not making binders. We are not doing "Axl and Sue the Final Journey." We are not wearing buttons with our faces on them. I know all the family is sad about me leaving, but people are just gonna have to deal with it.
[Brick passes in the hallway as he shifts a large bookcase past the door]
Sue: Look, it doesn't have to be a big thing. Just one moment. One quality brother-sister moment before you go. That's all I'm asking for.
Axl: Relax, Sue. We got, like, a whole month.

Axl: For the lightning round, what did I get Sue for her 21st birthday?
Sue: Oh! I know the answer! Nothing. The answer is nothing! Buzz, nothing! What is nothing?
Axl: Ooh, I'm sorry. That's incorrect. The correct answer is... my car.
Sue: W-What?
Axl: Yeah. Brick gets the consolation prize... my inflatable palm tree. And Sue gets the car.