Glenn: Hey! Twinsies!
Tahani: I'm sorry?
Glenn: Look! Cargo-pants buddies! [chortles] I bet we have a lot in common. I was a garbage man in Winnipeg. How about you?
Tahani: Okay. [downs shot]
Glenn: Crocs also?!

Waitress: Hi, dudes! Welcome to the Cowboy Skyscraper Buffet!
Trevor: Oh, hey, can we get the Florida table? They absolutely nail the swamp stench!
Waitress: Aw, someone's seated there. But if you purchase our "Manifest Destiny" package for 30 dollars you can have anyone you want forcibly removed from the table.
Eleanor: We'll just sit anywhere.
Trevor: When your table's ready, this gun will go off!
Chidi: I think... this is real.

Trevor: I am so glad you came out with us, man! I just assumed you would think it's unprofessional to be friends with the subjects of your study.
Chidi: No, I never thought that. I mean, I... I kind of do now. Should I not be socializing?
Trevor: I'm sure it's fine. I mean, how much harm could it possibly do.
Chidi: Good point. Such a good point, that I'm gonna go think about how good a point that is over there, by myself, for several minutes. Excuse me.

Tahani: I'm tired.
Janet: Does anybody want a gallon of water to sober up?
Trevor: No thanks, sweetheart. I just called a car for these two lovebirds. So why don't you just bring us the check? Oh, and you should smile more... you'll get bigger tips.

Trevor: [laughs] Oh, don't you butt-necks ever give up?
Janet: No, and what are you even doing in a bathroom? You're a demon, you don't... need it.
Trevor: I like the smells. And I like putting my hands in the toilet so everything I touch gets a little bit of poop on it. Hey, you guys see what I did out there? I am so good, I got Eleanor to leave a bar... early! Chidi's melting down, Jason and Tahani just left together. If they hook up, she's on the first private jet out of here. This was too easy!
Michael: Gonna take a lot more than that to break up this group. Why don't you give up, Trevor? As long as we're here, you'll never succeed.
Trevor: Maybe, but how long will that take? I mean, at some point the Judge will find out that you're not in your little room watching ticker tape. Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick. But hey, may the worst demon win. Good luck, Mikey. [they shake hands] Ha, poop hands.
Michael: Oh.
Trevor: I can't believe you fell for that!