Trevor: I am so glad you came out with us, man! I just assumed you would think it's unprofessional to be friends with the subjects of your study.
Chidi: No, I never thought that. I mean, I... I kind of do now. Should I not be socializing?
Trevor: I'm sure it's fine. I mean, how much harm could it possibly do.
Chidi: Good point. Such a good point, that I'm gonna go think about how good a point that is over there, by myself, for several minutes. Excuse me.

Tahani: I'm tired.
Janet: Does anybody want a gallon of water to sober up?
Trevor: No thanks, sweetheart. I just called a car for these two lovebirds. So why don't you just bring us the check? Oh, and you should smile more... you'll get bigger tips.

Eleanor: Closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer I had them throw in the microwave. You know what? Don't drink that!
Chidi: I think I'm just gonna head home. But you can go and spend time with the others.
Eleanor: Yeah, man, that's not really what I signed up for. I mean, Tahani is... meh. But Jason, woof! And Trevor... urgh! They're not the reason I flew all the way from Arizona. You are.
Chidi: I'm sorry. Uh... but this is just... how it has to be. I'll, uh... I'll see you tomorrow.

Trevor: [laughs] Oh, don't you butt-necks ever give up?
Janet: No, and what are you even doing in a bathroom? You're a demon, you don't... need it.
Trevor: I like the smells. And I like putting my hands in the toilet so everything I touch gets a little bit of poop on it. Hey, you guys see what I did out there? I am so good, I got Eleanor to leave a bar... early! Chidi's melting down, Jason and Tahani just left together. If they hook up, she's on the first private jet out of here. This was too easy!
Michael: Gonna take a lot more than that to break up this group. Why don't you give up, Trevor? As long as we're here, you'll never succeed.
Trevor: Maybe, but how long will that take? I mean, at some point the Judge will find out that you're not in your little room watching ticker tape. Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick. But hey, may the worst demon win. Good luck, Mikey. [they shake hands] Ha, poop hands.
Michael: Oh.
Trevor: I can't believe you fell for that!

Chidi: Right. As soon as Eleanor gets here, we'll begin.
Trevor: Bad news, prof, Eleanor might not be coming. She bailed right after you did last night. Seemed like she was having second thoughts about being part of the brainy bunch, so...
Chidi: Oh, well that's disappointing. In... in terms of... how it affects the study, but... we press on, like professionals. [pauses as he goes to write on the whiteboard] Hey, do you think I should...
Simone: Yeah. And I already called you a car because you should not drive. It's outside.
Chidi: Thanks. Where's outside?