Tahani: Well, Glenn, we just wanted to make sure you were all right.
Glenn: Tahani, you're too sweet. Isn't she just the nicest person?
Eleanor: Mm-hmm. That is what a lot of people are saying.
Glenn: Oh, everyone I know is saying that.
Eleanor: Yeah, it's just a big neighborhood full of enormous mansions and people who love Tahani! [both laughing]

Tahani: Eleanor and I just want to see if there's anything we can do to help you.
Cualli: Oh, Tahani, you are so thoughtful. Despite all the chaos earlier, we simply couldn't be happier.
Tahani: Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Cualli. Please take a maple butter scone. I made them fresh this morning.
Eleanor: Oh, they look a bit burned. [eats] But they're not. Hmm. Oh, fork, that's good.

Tahani: Oh, Jianyu, darling, would you like some tea? [Jianyu nods] That nod meant no, apparently. Well, it was nice to get out and meet all of our wonderful neighbors. They all truly belong here.
Tahani: Oh, yes they do, cutie-pants. Boop! Well, I should really be going. I have to begin my 12 step Korean skincare regiment, but, uh, I'll see... Oh, no, no, no. Please stay and enjoy the evening tea. I'll see you soon. Boop!

Michael: Okay. Arc welding. You could learn sculpture, you can make furniture, you can get your hands a little greasy, you know, and you make things.
Chidi: This equipment is very scary!
Janet: Don't be a baby. It can't hurt you. Watch, I'll blowtorch your face off.
Michael: Janet.
Janet: Whatever. This whole thing is stupid.
Michael: Oh, brother. I told her to be less flirty and now she's cruel and distant, apparently. I just can't get this right.

Chidi: Am I a good teacher? Am I clear? Do I make sense?
Eleanor: Yeah, you're a great teacher. I'm super ethical now.
Chidi: What's that?
Eleanor: Hmm? Nah. Don't worry about it. I stole Tahani's diary. So I could see if her handwriting matches the note and also read about all the mean and terrible things she's definitely done so I can prove she's actually evil. [the plant goes up in flames] Huh. What do you think that means?

[flashback:]
Eleanor: Hey, babe. Great news, I got us tickets to the Coyotes game.
Samuel: Awesome!
Eleanor: But, ooh, yikes. Turns out two of the players have DUIs. Guess we can't cheer for that team.
Samuel: Eleanor, I...
Eleanor: You know what? Instead, let's just stay in, watch a Roman Polanski movie, listen to R. Kelly, and eat Chik-fil-A. Does that sound good? There's bad stuff everywhere, man. It's impossible to avoid.
Samuel: Yeah, but shouldn't we just try? Shouldn't we just try to do the right thing whenever we can?
Eleanor: Why? It's so much harder to live like that. And it's not like someone's keeping score. [Samuel sighs] Look, I know you're gonna break up with me, okay? I'm not an idiot. I read your emails to your dad. Have fun being so amazing and perfect until you die. And by the way, I'm talking really fast because I still go to Andy's Coffee, and I got a full punch card, bro.

Eleanor: Good people make me insecure. When I'm around someone who I think is better than me, I try and drag them down to my level. That's why perfect Tahani is like my kryptonite.
Chidi: Well, even admitting that is an important step. And also, maybe don't listen to me.
Eleanor: I would love not to listen to you. Wait, what?
Chidi: Basically, my life's work is 3,600 pages of garbage. Even Michael couldn't understand it.
Eleanor: So? What does Michael know?
Chidi: Everything. That's my point. He knows everything, and it was too convoluted, even for him.
Eleanor: Michael does not know everything. Michael does not know I'm not supposed to be here. You wrote 4,000 pages on one of the most complicated subjects in the world. I mean I used to get bored halfway through writing a text message. Be proud.

Tahani: [crying] [Eleanor knocks gently on the door] Oh! Oh, hello, Eleanor. Hi. Sorry, I was just cleaning up.
Eleanor: You okay? Do you want to... talk about it?
Tahani: Desperately. It's Jianyu. I just can't seem to connect with him. I know that he took a vow of silence, but he won't even talk to me, his soul mate! And I adore talking.
Eleanor: I know. You do.
Tahani: Eleanor, you don't know what it's like to be in paradise and feel like there's something just not quite right.
Eleanor: Well... I may not know exactly what you're feeling, but I do understand. And you deserve to be happy, because... you are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person. Not to mention... you have a rockin' bod. [Tahani chuckles] I mean, Jianyu may be mute, but he's not blind. [laughs] You two belong here. And you belong together. And you have all of eternity, so there's plenty of time for things to change.
Tahani: Oh, thank you. I really needed to hear that. Come here. [hugs Eleanor]
Eleanor: Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.

Tahani: Anyway, um, look, Michael asked me if I would serve as his assistant, but I'd quite like to focus on my relationship with Jianyu. So I recommended you for the job. [giggles]
Michael: Eleanor, you and I could work side-by-side to figure out what's going wrong with this neighborhood. Will you help me?
Eleanor: How could I say no?
Tahani: Yeah, hurrah!
Janet: Hurrah!