Shawn Quote #54
Quote from Shawn in You've Changed, Man
Shawn: Wait. I'm gonna do the evil speech now.
Michael: If you want.
Shawn: [clears throat] Since the dawn of time, good and evil have waged a furious battle, stemming from...
This feels stupid if you're not gonna fight back. How do you not have another plan? You've always had another plan.
Michael: What's wrong, Shawn?
Shawn: Okay, fine. You're gonna make me admit it. Fighting you is the most fun I've ever had. I mean, you know. You corkscrew your first eyeball, and you're like, "Man, I can't believe they're paying me to do this." By the trillionth, it's like... I should've just been a teacher. And then you go and get the warm fuzzies about your little humans, and something... Something changed. I was having fun again. I'm not sure I'm ready for that to end.
Michael: I know, buddy. It's hard when things end. But one way or the other, this is over. The only question is... What's next?
Shawn: I heard your speech at Demon-Con. You know this system stinks. You wouldn't have let me try the original experiment if things were working. Let's try a new way. Together.
The Good Place Quotes
‘You've Changed, Man’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Jason: Tell me about it. I once went to jail for a week just because I stole a hot dog. Well, a hot-dog-shaped car. I stole the Wienermobile.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Now all we have to do is convince Shawn.
Tahani: I'll take the lead. If I can convince Dr. Ruth not to sue Bruno Mars over songwriting credit on "Uptown Funk," I can handle this.
Eleanor: Okay, you gotta tell me that story on the way.
Quote from Judge
Judge: Ugh. All Janet voids are nothing, but Neutral Janet voids are, like, the most nothing.
Janet: Judge, please, please don't cancel Earth.
Judge: Why not? The system's broken. You guys proved it. I just want to reboot the whole thing, and go back to my chambers. I am on season three of Justified, and can I just tell you, it is so good. I, like, binged all of season two in a day.
Janet: Think of all the amazing human achievement you'd be eliminating. The works of William Shakespeare. The Pyramids. Timothy Olyphant.
Judge: Ooh, that one stings. There's, like, 50 gallons of man in a 10-gallon hat. I'm, like, oh! Look, I'm the freaking Judge, and I made a freaking ruling, and it's gonna freaking happen, soon as I find the freaking clicker thing. All right, what do I search for? "Humanity eraser button garage door opener thingy Judge." [groans]