Michael Quote #289
Quote from Michael in A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)
Michael: When I started my experiment, I thought, "Four broken birdbrains who will believe everything I tell them. This will be a breeze." You beat me in three months. "Okay, fine," I thought, "a fluke." You then you beat me 800 more times. Because human beings, it turns out, are weird, and I will never truly understand what it's like to be one. This is a job for a human. One who's tough, but also empathetic and has a big heart, and a world-class bullshirt detector. You think you can't do this? Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this. Like it or not, the only one who can save humanity is a girl from Arizona.
Eleanor: But everything I do blows up in my face. I'm like a hot, blonde Wile E. Coyote.
Michael: That's true. About you making lots of mistakes, not the thing where you sexualized a cartoon. Come on, you know how this works. You fail, and then you try something else, and you fail again and again. And you fail 1,000 times, and you keep trying, because maybe the 1,001st idea might work. Now, I'm gonna go and try to find our 1,001st idea. I hope you'll join me. I hope you shower first and then join me.
The Good Place Quotes
‘A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.
Quote from Jason
Michael: Do you know why I forced you to act like a monk in the original neighborhood?
Jason: Does it have to do with the TV show Monk?
Michael: No.
Quote from Eleanor
Michael: You get it all out of your system? You gonna come back, get to work?
Eleanor: No, man, I meant what I said. I quit.
Michael: I'm sorry you overheard that, and they're sorry they said it. But you don't just get to quit this, Eleanor. This is not your seventh-grade band, or three hours into a two-week juice cleanse. A little more at stake here.
Eleanor: Yeah, man, that's why I'm quitting. The things that are happening here are above my pay grade. How do I get Brent to stop being such a deckhead? How do I fix Simone when she's convinced all of this is happening inside of her brain? Ooh, maybe I should drive her into the arms of my ex-boyfriend? That sounds fun. What do I do about John, the gossip king, or the demon spy who punched me in the face? And how do I do it all with a pleasant smile to keep everyone's spirits up? I'm not meant for this. I'm not the freakin' savior of the universe. I'm just... a girl from Arizona. That's it. I'm just a normal girl from Arizona. I ate junk food, I watched reality shows, I sometimes left H&M wearing more underpants than I had on when I came in. I did a bad job of being in charge of my own life, and now I'm supposed to be in charge of everyone else's life? I... I cannot do this.