Eleanor Quote #308
Quote from Eleanor in The Book of Dougs
Eleanor: This is how I always got out of escape rooms. If you break enough stuff, they open the door and kick you out.
Gwendolyn: [o.s.] Is everything okay in there?
Eleanor: Yep.
Gwendolyn: [o.s.] Okay. No follow-up questions.
Chidi: Hey there, Smashy, before you start grabbing any other throwing lamps, you have anything you need to talk about?
Eleanor: I can't take this anymore, man. All the running and the hiding and fighting and this whole insane journey. And now all that stands between us and the actual Good Place is one door? What is that, two inches thick? That's like four Oreos. We're four Oreos from heaven.
Chidi: I know. I know. It's an insane situation, but I am right here with you. So, let's take a deep breath. [both inhale deeply] Mmm.
Eleanor: Okay, the smell of the barf from the wave pool is really helping.
Chidi: How? Why?
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Book of Dougs’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: It's okay. Cry as long as you want.
Eleanor: I'm going to. [sniffling] 'Cause my tears taste like the nacho cheese from my favorite movie theater. That's a really weird incentive to keep crying. Relationships are stupid. You're scared you're never gonna have a real one, and then when you do, you're scared it's gonna go away.
Chidi: Here's an idea. What if we don't worry about whatever comes next? There's a quote I like by Tolstoy: "There is only one time that is important: Now. It is the only time...
Both: "When we have any power."
Eleanor: I know that quote. An unverified Tyra Banks account posted that meme on Instagram.
Chidi: Well, now I hate it. [Eleanor laughs] There is another quote first spoken by a very wise, very attractive, occasionally very sweaty philosopher: "You gotta try." Now, she was talking about making the world a better place, but I think it applies to relationships too.
Quote from Michael
Paula: In light of this new information, the time has come to take decisive action.
Michael: Wow, can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that.
Chuck: We are gonna form an elite investigative team to get to the bottom of this. And we are fast-tracking the process. It'll take no more than 400 years.
Michael: Sorry?
Paula: It's aggressive, but you heard right. We are only giving ourselves 400 years to select the members of this elite team.
Michael: Wait, 400 years just to form the team? I was thinking that we could do something now-ish. Like, right now.
Meg: Michael, we have rules, procedures. We're the good guys. We can't just do stuff.
Paula: No.
Chuck: Upon formation, the team will then be in charge of organizing a Blue Ribbon Commission to investigate themselves, to make sure there's no conflicts of interest. And that will take 1,000 years.
Michael: Okay. Just so you know, the whole time you're doing this, the bad guys are continuing to torture everyone who ends up in the Bad Place. Which is everyone.
Andie: And that deeply concerns us. Have you seen the memoranda we've sent each other about how concerned we are? We're taking this very seriously.
Kellen: Hear, hear.
Chuck: Kellan, did you file a "Hear, Hear" memorandum?
Kellen: No. Sincerest apologies. I rescind my "Hear, hear" and resign, effective immediately. [applause]
Quote from Michael
Tahani: Michael? How did it go? Is the Committee going to help us?
Michael: The committee's a bunch of ineffectual dorks in fleece vests. The Titanic is sinking, and they're writing a strongly-worded letter to the iceberg. How much more evidence do they need? The Bad Place has to be tampering with the system. There's no other explanation.
Tahani: Can I ask you an unrelated question?
Michael: Absolutely not. The fate of all of humanity is at stake, and time is running out. [Tahani pouts] Go ahead.
Tahani: I'm trying to help Jason and Janet navigate some very complex feelings, but everything I do makes it worse. You know them better than anyone else. How do I just make them happy?
Michael: How do you make Jason happy? You give him a lollipop shaped like a Transformer.
Tahani: You'd think it'd be that simple. But every time I do something nice, it backfires. There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions. Feels like a game you can't win.
Michael: That's it. There is another explanation. Unintended consequences. Oh, Tahani, you did it.
Tahani: Well, of course I did, darling. Did what?