Eleanor Quote #222
Eleanor: Listen, dude. What you're doing here... Selling fake medicine to people, tricking them... is wrong.
Wallace: Yeah. And?
Eleanor: I can't be a part of it anymore. I'm trying to become a better person, and as long as I work here...
Wallace: Yeah, sure, fine, whatever, you quit, who cares? Give me your company ID. Thank you. And your parking pass. And your panties, please.
Wallace: What? Come on. I had to try. By the way, technically, that is not sexual harassment, because she doesn't work here anymore.
Eleanor: You're wearing a wire?
Wallace: Yeah. Company's being investigated for fraud, so I'm helping the feds bring everyone down. Good timing on your part.
Eleanor: Dude, get help. I'm becoming a better person. You should, too.
Betsy: Hey, Eleanor, do you want to come to Lauren's baby shower?
Eleanor: Do you want to chew on my ass... sortment of brownies that I will be bringing to Lauren's baby shower?
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: And in the end, Anthony Anderson and Jerry O'Connell start a successful shampoo company and you see the kangaroo jumping around Australia. That is the plot of the movie Kangaroo Jack. Why did I tell you that?
Michael: It's unclear.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Wow, so you saw your parents in the test?
Tahani: Yes. And I immediately fell right back into my old pattern, desperately trying to impress them and earn their admiration. Then I heard this little voice in my head saying, "Tahani, don't do this."
Eleanor: The little voice in your head sounds like the old lady from Downton Abbey.
Tahani: Oh, yeah, sorry. Maggie Smith is my godmother. Anyway, I took a deep breath, told them I ate a Cheeto, and walked away.
Eleanor: Man. You have made so much progress. I'm proud of you, hot stuff.
Tahani: Whatever progress I have made, it's because you and I have become mates. That's British for "friends."
Eleanor: No, I know.
Quote from Pandemonium
Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.
Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals
Eleanor: Tahani improved so much over her many lives, but she also helped me improve. She taught me lots of stuff, like "Bras shouldn't be painful", and, "You don't buy bras at Home Depot", and "They don't sell bras at Home Depot. What the hell are you wearing?" For the record, it was a men's back support harness, and it worked in a pinch.