Mindy St. Claire Quote #3
Quote from Mindy St. Claire in Mindy St. Claire
Mindy St. Claire: So I was a hotshot corporate lawyer in the 1980s. I only cared about making money and doing cocaine. And I was pretty crappy to my family as well. One night, I had an epiphany, right? I needed to do something good with my life. So I drew up plans for this foundation that would help kids all over the world, would advance human rights, revolutionize agriculture, and just improve every nation and every society in every possible way.
Eleanor: You were pretty coked-up, huh?
Mindy St. Claire: Oh, yeah, man, I was flying high. It was so awesome. But... you're not gonna believe this... I followed through. Yeah, I woke up the next morning, I went straight to the bank, I withdrew my life savings, and I was gonna start that charity.
Eleanor: Good for you!
Mindy St. Claire: And then I immediately fell into subway tracks and was electrocuted by the third rail.
Eleanor: Ooh...
Mindy St. Claire: Honestly, not the type of rail I thought was gonna kill me... [chuckles] 'Cause I love cocaine. [laughs] Do you have any? I'm just... I shouldn't... Do you?
Eleanor: No.
Mindy St. Claire: Oh, yeah. I mean, I was just... I was just kidding. It was just a joke. I mean, who would want to do cocaine right now? [long silence]
The Good Place Quotes
‘Mindy St. Claire’ Quotes
Quote from Shawn
Shawn: Thank you for these testimonials. A ruling has been reached. [everyone gathers] Oh, you want to hear it. I forgot how needy humans are. [clears throat] Eleanor Shellstrop is a bad person. The progress she has made does not offset her actions on Earth. She deserves to be in the Bad Place.
Michael: Oh!
Shawn: As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest... oh, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.
Quote from Janet
Eleanor: Can this train go any faster, Janet? No pressure, but Jason and I will literally be tortured for all of eternity if we get caught.
Janet: Don't worry, there's no way to tell we're going to Mindy St. Clair's house. It'll be our sexy little secret. [off Eleanor's look] Jason taught me about sexy things.
Eleanor: Oh, yeah? What things did he say were sexy?
Janet: Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, 20,000 followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, latex pants, Carl's Jr. ads, and sex.
Eleanor: Eh, some of those are right. [Jason and Janet high-five]
Quote from Eleanor
[flashback:]
Eleanor: "Live every day like it's your last." [scoffs] Bite me. I'ma live forever, bitch.
Cashier: Ma'am? It's $132.21. So, big plans this weekend?
Eleanor: Yep. I'm gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.