Michael Quote #280

Quote from Michael in Pandemonium

Michael: Hang on. I'm not giving up yet. Let's have an old-fashioned brainstorming session. We'll get Chinese food, and we'll throw pencils and stick them in the ceiling, and someone will say something innocuous and I'll say, "Wait... Say that again."

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 ‘Pandemonium’ Quotes

Quote from Eleanor

Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.

Quote from Michael

Eleanor: Okay, listen. There's a guy out there who's awake and doesn't know what's happening, okay? You gotta pull it together. You've got this.
Michael: No, I absolutely do not. I'm not meant for any of this, Eleanor. I'm just middle management! [Eleanor shushes him] What if I fail? It'll be like the failure to end all failures. It'll be... an epic fail. Is my tie getting tighter, or is my neck getting fatter somehow? Oh! This is what we do. We tell the judge we have to cancel the experiment because I have a fat neck. She'll understand.

 Michael Quotes

Quote from Chillaxing

Michael: I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy, and texting when you should be driving, which is not an emotion, I know, but it's insane. The point is, in this case, even if it's not rational, you're allowed to feel a little angry. Let yourself off the hook. Process it and work your way through it, and then get your shirt together. Because we have a lot of work to do.

Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals

Michael: Let's focus on the big picture here. Free of Earth's complications and its unintended consequences, the other three improved a lot. Chidi got 38% more confident. Simone got 43% more flexible in her judgments of people, and John didn't call one single person the C-word.
Judge: But he did yell the C-word at himself as well as a pack of squirrels and a chair he tripped over.
Shawn: Why are we even still discussing this? Brent got worse. If humans can't be good with their needs magically met, maybe they're just not that good.
Judge: He's right; the evidence needed to be overwhelming. I can't just turn the whole afterlife upside down because three people got a little bit better.
Michael: But don't forget. There's a lot of evidence that Eleanor, Jason and Tahani got better in the original experiment, so that's six people. That's the number of friends in Friends. Are you gonna sit there and say that every single Friend belongs in hell? I mean, maybe Ross and Rachel... and Monica and Joey, and definitely Chandler... but Phoebe?