Chidi: I just want to have a little chat about your progress. In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of "Les Miserables," in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here?
Michael: "Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. The thief is bad. The officer chasing him is bad. All the whiny prostitutes are bad. Plus, they're all French, so they're going to the Bad Place automatically."
Chidi: Do you see how you're already off topic?
Michael: Chidi, I've been around a long time... like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it's a negative 17 points... 20 if it's a baguette because that makes you more French.
Chidi: Okay. Sure. But philosophy is about questioning things that you take for granted, and I-I just don't think that you're doing that. I mean, "I personally know that Victor Hugo is in the Bad Place being tortured. He's a real wuss, too. If one of the lava monsters even gets near the guy, he's like, 'Sacre bleu, I peed in m' pants.'"
Michael: I don't know what you want from me. T-that's exactly what he said.

Tahani: Jason's a nice person, but my suitors were always of a certain echelon. I used what I called the "Duke Rule," because Duke is both minimum acceptable university and rank of nobility.
Janet: You've never dated anyone like Jason before.
Tahani: I mean, I've dallied below my station. I once had a brief fling with a non-famous Hemsworth brother, but even Larry Hemsworth had more status than Jason. Jason didn't even have a job... in a sad way, not in the good, rich way.

Chidi: This is an exciting day. We are going to tackle The Trolley Problem.
Jason: Is this a game? I go first. I call blue.
Chidi: There's no... this is... No, this is a thought experiment first introduced by British philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967. You are driving a trolley when the brakes fail, and on the track ahead of you are five workmen that you will run over. Now, you can steer to another track, but on that track is one person you would kill instead of the five. What do you do?