Chidi Quote #143

Quote from Chidi in A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)

Eleanor: So, Chidi, do you remember that woman Simone from the party the other night?
Chidi: Simone... The Third Eye Blind superfan who walked around cutting off people's ponytails?
Eleanor: That's the one. Uh, I need your help, acclimating her to the neighborhood. I've tried, but since she thinks this whole thing is imaginary, and I'm an authority figure, I'm extra suspicious.
Chidi: Well, what makes you think I'd have any more luck?
Eleanor: Chidi, you and Simone... are soulmates.
Chidi: Soulmates? Like our souls are... are...
Eleanor: Mates, yes. Everyone has people that they're cosmically bound to, and the system brings them together in the afterlife. And I can say, with complete certainty, that you and Simone are two such people. [Chidi chuckles] I haven't told her yet. I wouldn't have told you, ordinarily, but since she's gone a little cuckoo bananas... That's the official architect term. Uh, I thought it was prudent to let you know.
Chidi: Whoo, boy, uh... [chuckles] I'm getting a stomachache. But a good one! A happy stomachache! This is new. There are some great writings on simulated realities that might help her adjust. Descartes, Moravec, Zhuang Zhou... I wonder if I can summon a book from my apartment.
Eleanor: Well, good luck.
Chidi: This is incredible. I spent my whole life in pursuit of fundamental truths about the universe, but I never actually fell in love with someone.
Eleanor: I know.
Chidi: Oh, right. Of course. You know everything about me.
Eleanor: I do indeed.

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 ‘A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)’ Quotes

Quote from Tahani

Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.

Quote from Jason

Michael: Do you know why I forced you to act like a monk in the original neighborhood?
Jason: Does it have to do with the TV show Monk?
Michael: No.

 Chidi Anagonye Quotes

Quote from Michael's Gambit

Eleanor: But wait, why is Chidi here?
Chidi: Well, uh... there's something you don't know about me. I read an article saying that growing almonds was bad for the environment, and yet I continued to use almond milk in my coffee...
Michael: No, dingus! You hurt everyone in your life with your rigidity and your indecisiveness.
Chidi: Oh, fork! You're right. Every friend, every girlfriend was driven nuts because I couldn't do anything. I missed my mom's back surgery because I had already promised my landlord's nephew that I would help him figure out his new phone. I made everyone miserable.

Quote from Dance Dance Resolution

Chidi: So we're in the Bad Place, and I know why: almond milk. I knew it was bad for the environment, but I loved the way it coated my tongue with a weird film.