Michael Quote #230
Quote from Michael in The Worst Possible Use of Free Will
[flashback:]
Chidi: We just went to Mindy St. Claire's, and when she wasn't trying to trick us into having a threesome, she filled us in on everything that you've been up to here.
Michael: Oh, yeah?
Eleanor: We know this is, like, the hundredth time you've tried to torture us, but this time it's different, because... we're in love. And love is stronger than anything you can throw at us.
Michael: No, it's not. Love is stronger than anything I can throw at you? I could throw an elephant at you. You think a thrown elephant wouldn't crush you because of love?
Chidi: She was speaking metaphorically.
Michael: Even metaphorically, it's lame.
Eleanor: It's okay. No matter what he does, we will find each other, and we will help each other, because we're soul mates.
Michael: [blows raspberry] There's no such thing as soul mates, you dingus. I made it up. I put clowns in your house because you hate them. I forced you to choose the lizard, and then I made that lizard run away. I made it all up! Don't you understand that?
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Worst Possible Use of Free Will’ Quotes
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: I gotta say, it seems like I was really nailing that philosophy class. Can you believe my high school voted me "Most Likely to Die Young and Unaccomplished?"
Michael: You did die young and unaccomplished.
Eleanor: Fair enough.
Quote from Tahani
[flashback:]
Michael: Ah! My favorite four residents. Don't tell the others. [laughs] Welcome to "Pick a Pet Day." We have hundreds of beautiful animals for you to choose from. And when you do make your choice, your pet will bond to your soul forever.
Tahani: Fabulous. I haven't had a pet since Barbra Streisand gave me one of her cloned Siamese cats, and it killed itself.
Michael: Ah.
Tahani: I'm going to look at the mythical pets, darling. Catch up when you're ready.
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: "Determinism is the theory that we have no control over our own actions. Everything we do happens because of some external force, which exists outside of our control." I didn't choose to fall in love with Chidi, because some all-knowing demon, you, brought us together and scripted our lives.
Michael: That's ridiculous. I didn't make you kiss Chidi by that lake.
Eleanor: You kind of did. You orchestrated the whole "pet day" thing, manipulated us into choosing specific animals, made my lizard run away, which led to Chidi coming to help me find it, which led to us kissing, which led to us falling in love. None of that was my choice. Everything in my life has been determined by my upbringing, my genetics, or... or my environment. And everything in my afterlife was determined by you. There is no such thing as free will.