Tahani: This was a truly great plan.
Jason: Ah, thanks. Man, there are so many times that just this amount of money would have changed my life. I could have paid my rent. I could've gone to a real doctor instead of pretending I was a big dog so I could go to the vet.

Bartender: Look, there have to be rules. Every place has rules.
Eleanor: Ugh! Fine, here are my rules... Rule number one, I get to do whatever I want and you all just have to deal with it. Rule two, no more Spider-Man movies! There's way too many Spider-Man movies. Too many dorky, little, twerpy Spider-men. Rule three, everyone leave me alone.
Bartender: So you just take care of yourself? You don't owe anything to anyone else? [chuckles] If people lived that way, society would break down.
Eleanor: Yeah! In America, everyone does whatever they want society did break down, it's terrible, and it's great! You only look out for number one, scream at whoever disagrees with you, there are no bees because they all died, and if you need surgery, you just beg for money on the internet. It's a perfect system! Now get me another drink. Tomorrow's my birthday. Well, well, well, a wallet. [gasps] My rules say I get to take the cash out and keep it, because in my society, I do whatever I want 'cause I'm awesome. [removes cash] Just take it. Take it, Eleanor. Just... Ugh!

Tahani: Jason, I have an idea but... It's a little risky. I need you to act as my bodyguard. Like my friend, Kevin Costner, in that movie where he was a bodyguard. The Bodyguard.
Jason: No problem. My cousin once hired me to do crowd control for his off-brand Sea World. Well, technically, it was just a bunch of kiddie pools full of jellyfish. And instead of a killer whale, they killed a whale.