Michael: Hey, how's it going?
Janet: Not good, Michael. I don't have my powers. I can't summon things. Dictionary. Spaghetti. Jet-ski. Giraffe. Gah! Look what I've been reduced to! Humans only live 80 years and they spend so much of it just waiting for things to be over.
Michael: I'm all out of sorts down here, too. I'm bad at lying now. That used to be my thing! And every part of my body is either too dry or too wet.
Janet: It's worse for me, man! Ever since we walked through that portal, my knowledge has stopped updating. The instant before we left, a man in Caracas, Venezuela, named Raul Benitez was eating a ham sandwich. Did he finish it? I don't know and it's making me crazy! I gotta find him.

Jason: Oh, Mrs. Teacher... for my turn, is there any way to get like... extra radiation?
Simone: There is no radiation in an MRI. But why do you ask?
Jason: Uh, no reason.
Eleanor: Jason, what have you got in your hand there, bud?
Jason: Nothing.
Eleanor: Is it a spider?
Jason: Yes.
Eleanor: Do you think taking a spider in an MRI machine will give you super powers?
Jason: Hey, it might work. He already bit me a bunch of times and gave me the power to swell up my hand!

Trevor: Hey, Mikey, fancy seeing you down on Earth completely illegally. Sweet outfit. Dick Tracy called, he said you're a butt-face and he's been plowing your mum.
Michael: Yeah, well, Dick Tracy called me too, first. And he said he was about to call you and say a lie about me that was actually true about you, instead. Whatever.
Michael: What are you doing here, Trevor?
Trevor: Shawn hacked the Judge's system, and we caught you cheating getting your four little cockroaches to meet up. What? You think we were just gonna sit around in the Bad Place blowin' beefers while you're down on Earth boning us in the meat-hole?
Michael: So, why didn't Shawn just go to the Judge and turn me in?
Trevor: Because this way's more fun, knuckle-nuts!
Michael: First of all... I'm currently formulating a better comeback to your Dick Tracy burn and it's gonna devastate you. Second, you're too late... because when I did this experiment in my neighborhood every time Eleanor asked Chidi for help, their bond became unbreakable and the entire group improved.
Trevor: No, you're right. There's no way I'll get one of these bozos to drop out of an unpaid rigorous academic, study, especially when they're doing it with me... their overeager new best friend. Well, I should head back. You want to come with? Oh, right, they've all seen you already so you can't show your face to them again... so you're powerless to stop me. Later days, dingus.
Michael: Dick Tracy called back, on his watch phone and said you better watch out! Shoot. A second too late.