Eleanor Quote #221
Eleanor: My name is Eleanor Shellstrop, and I think I might be a monster. I'm rude, I'm selfish, I cyberbullied Ryan Lochte until he quit Instagram, but something happened to me today, and from now on, I'm gonna try to become a better, kinder, more generous person.
Brittany: Hey, can I use your credit card?
Eleanor: You know what? Yes, you can.
Brittany: Cool. It's for porn. I already used it.
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: And in the end, Anthony Anderson and Jerry O'Connell start a successful shampoo company and you see the kangaroo jumping around Australia. That is the plot of the movie Kangaroo Jack. Why did I tell you that?
Michael: It's unclear.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Wow, so you saw your parents in the test?
Tahani: Yes. And I immediately fell right back into my old pattern, desperately trying to impress them and earn their admiration. Then I heard this little voice in my head saying, "Tahani, don't do this."
Eleanor: The little voice in your head sounds like the old lady from Downton Abbey.
Tahani: Oh, yeah, sorry. Maggie Smith is my godmother. Anyway, I took a deep breath, told them I ate a Cheeto, and walked away.
Eleanor: Man. You have made so much progress. I'm proud of you, hot stuff.
Tahani: Whatever progress I have made, it's because you and I have become mates. That's British for "friends."
Eleanor: No, I know.
Quote from Pandemonium
Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.
Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals
Eleanor: Tahani improved so much over her many lives, but she also helped me improve. She taught me lots of stuff, like "Bras shouldn't be painful", and, "You don't buy bras at Home Depot", and "They don't sell bras at Home Depot. What the hell are you wearing?" For the record, it was a men's back support harness, and it worked in a pinch.