Jason Quote #101
Quote from Jason in The Burrito
Judge: Jason.
Jason: Present!
Judge: Good. In front of you is a video game system loaded with Madden football.
Jason: Are you kidding me? I'm the best at Madden. I call Jaguars.
Judge: As I was about to tell you, you can only play against the Jaguars.
Jason: No.
Judge: Using their archrivals, the Tennessee Titans.
Jason: No!
Judge: If you play the game and you lose...
Jason: Oh. I'm gonna win. Say no more, scary judge lady. Tell my friends their souls are in good hands.
Jason: No, I fumbled the kickoff! Titans suck.
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Burrito’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Shawn: So, just to be clear, you actually rebooted them over 800 times, and all of these reports of their torture are completely fake?
Michael: Yes, but frankly, this is on you. A lot of those details I just took directly from Stephen King novels and episodes of Pretty Little Liars.
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: Your honor, please hear our case. You frankly wouldn't believe what we've been through just to be here today.
Judge: I mean, I would, because I just learned everything about you, but keep talking. I am, like, obsessed with your accent.
Tahani: We have made so much progress and all we ask is an audience with you to prove it. Is that not your very purpose... to weigh in on matters such as ours? To paraphrase a song written by my godfather... "Hey, judge. Don't make it bad. Take a sad group and make us better."
Quote from Michael
Shawn: How could you betray your own kind like this? Who taught you how to turn a human inside out by reaching down their throat and grabbing their butt from the inside?
Michael: You did.
Shawn: You got that right, sister. And this is how you repay me.
Michael: Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends... Ya basic. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.