Michael Quote #159
Quote from Michael in Best Self
Eleanor: Michael, can you tell us a little bit about that version?
Michael: Reboot number 119. All the restaurants were kabab places. You had a pet lizard which I made poop on you all the time.
Eleanor: No, can you tell us more about Chidi's and my relationship from that version?
Michael: Right. Sorry. Well, you got really into ethics, and you spent a lot of time together. Once you handed him a tissue right before he sneezed, and that simple act of anticipating his needs made him fall for you. One night you took a walk along the lake, and you had your first kiss, which: Gross. Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together. It's not for that. Anyway, it uh... It just you know bloomed after that.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Best Self’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Eleanor: The point is Michael, we forgive you. I mean, at least you tried to find a way to the Good Place. And that's the greatest thing someone can do, just try your best. So we hereby name you an honorary human. And we would like to present you with this human starter kit.
Michael: Car keys! So I could lose them, and say, "Has anyone seen my car keys?" I can do that you know that thing where... [laughs] Thank you! And Band-Aids for your stupid, fragile bodies. Oh, and look at this. A stress ball with a dumb corporate logo. Oh, I can't wait to keep finding this and then almost throw it away, and then think, "No, I'll use it." [laughter] Oh, guys. A Dr. Oz diet book because you're all such suckers. This is all garbage that I have no real use for.
Eleanor: That's right. Welcome to being human, buddy. To Michael!
Quote from Jason
Jason: What do you guys think the Bad Place is going to be for you? I'll probably go to a Skrillex concert. And I'll be waiting for the bass drop, and it... [weeps] it'll never come.
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: Here's the thing about me. You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time. It's just this constant grinding about things I'm afraid of or things that I want or want to want or want to want to...
Eleanor: Is it grinding in there right now, bud?
Chidi: Yep, but the point is... the circumstances under which me met are completely insane. And that just makes the grinding harder. I just wish we met the way normal people meet. Like at a philosophy conference, or after one of my philosophy lectures. Or you came knocking on my office door asking for help with philosophy.
Eleanor: Is that how you think people meet?
Chidi: I don't know how normal people meet.
Eleanor: You're such a nerd.