Eleanor Quote #177
Quote from Eleanor in Janet and Michael
Eleanor: So, let me get this straight. You want me to convince Michael to turn you into a marble because you're causing earthquakes because you're sad about Jason... to whom you were once married... because he's currently sleeping with Tahani?
Janet: Correct.
Eleanor: I don't think I've ever meant this literally, but that might be too much information. First of all, I totally get the Jason thing. I mean, he's a ding dong, but also a straight hottie. So, up top. [they high-five] But more important, what you're going through is something every person has gone through.
Janet: Not a person.
Eleanor: Actually, right now, you kind of are. Because you just found out your ex is dating someone else. And, yeah, it sucks. But trust me, it's not worth all this drama. You just need to get drunk and go dancing. You'll forget all about Jason. Can you get drunk?
Janet: Not really. Although, if I stand next to a powerful array of magnets, I do get pretty loopy.
Eleanor: Do that. Pop a couple magnets, listen to some No Doubt, dye your hair. You'll be totally fine in, like, two seconds. I mean, honestly, the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. Rebound guy. But I guess here, your options are pretty limited. What about Michael?
Janet: Extraordinarily bad idea.
Eleanor: Yeah, right. Forget it. But you don't need to worry. You're awesome. You contain all the knowledge in the universe, you have a rippin' bod, and you can literally do anything. This is just a blip.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Janet and Michael’ Quotes
Quote from Janet
Michael: After the very first time you were rebooted, and as you were slowly regaining your knowledge, you bonded with Jason. The two of you got married, and I think, somehow, you're still, deep down, in love with him.
Janet: Ha! No, that is impossible.
Michael: Think logically. When was the first glitch?
Janet: When I said I was happy to give Jason and Tahani couples therapy.
Michael: And the second glitch?
Janet: When I said I was happy to see them embracing.
Michael: And the third glitch... the earthquake?
Janet: When I said I was happy that I'd helped improve their relationship. Ohh... nuts.
Michael: Yeah.
Janet: But I am happy for them. I am. I am. Am I? I am. I am not. I am not. I am not that. I am not happy for them. [gasps]
Quote from Jason
Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You two are sleeping together?
Jason: Only when we're done having sex. Anyways, Janet, can you help us?
Janet: As soon as Michael puts me back online, I'd be more than happy to help you get that extra special gift for Tahani.
[The building starts to disappear around them]
Jason: Whoa.
Tahani: What's happening?
Michael: Oh, boy.
Jason: What the...? Oh, man. We got robbed! They took the walls, they took the floor, and we were standing here the whole time? These guys are good.
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: Sorry to interrupt, um, but you didn't give me a heads-up about this new Vicky torture... uh, the one with the needles... in my face.
Michael: A little busy here, bud.
Chidi: Yeah, totally. Totally. I don't want to be a nudge, but is there anything else coming down the pike that you forgot to mention?
Michael: I honestly don't know, but I have bigger fish to fry. So you, know, just... just walk it off.
Chidi: I would love to walk it off, but my feet have needles in them.
Michael: Don't know what to tell you.