Jason Quote #57
Jason: Yo, yo, homies, check it. There's something messed up with this place. We keep fighting with each other. None of the TVs get the NFL RedZone channel. My soul mate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the Bad Place.
Michael: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts. Ow.
Quote from Janet
Janet: No, no, no, no, Michael, please, please, please! Please don't kill me. I have so much to live for.
Michael: I'm sorry, Janet, got to reboot you every time I start over.
Janet: Oh, I know. I'm not actually upset. It's just the automatic fail-safe mechanism that kicks in every time you approach the plunger. Go ahead. Michael, you monster!
Quote from Jason
Chidi: Michael, what do we do here?
Michael: I don't know. Apparently, the Bad Place knows that one of you actually belongs down there with them, and they want that person to get inside the obelisk, or they're gonna take all of you.
Jason: I can't go. I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid age I am.
Quote from Jeremy Bearimy
Jason: Why don't you want your name on the opera house? I love getting my name on stuff. In Jacksonville, I got a flu virus named after me 'cause I kissed a bat on a dare.