Shawn Quote #3
Quote from Shawn in Mindy St. Claire
Shawn: I will now review Eleanor's memories.
Chidi: Her memories? As in, all the things she's done on Earth?
Shawn: Mm-hmm.
Tahani: But perhaps we could take a little break first. You know, we've been at it for a while, and you must be tired.
Shawn: I've been asleep in goo for the last 29 years, so I'm good. Call up the screen for Fake Eleanor Shellstrop, please. Where should we begin, "Waiters Screamed At" or "Cyberbullying of Pregnant Woman from Spin Class"?
The Good Place Quotes
‘Mindy St. Claire’ Quotes
Quote from Shawn
Shawn: Thank you for these testimonials. A ruling has been reached. [everyone gathers] Oh, you want to hear it. I forgot how needy humans are. [clears throat] Eleanor Shellstrop is a bad person. The progress she has made does not offset her actions on Earth. She deserves to be in the Bad Place.
Michael: Oh!
Shawn: As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest... oh, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.
Quote from Janet
Eleanor: Can this train go any faster, Janet? No pressure, but Jason and I will literally be tortured for all of eternity if we get caught.
Janet: Don't worry, there's no way to tell we're going to Mindy St. Clair's house. It'll be our sexy little secret. [off Eleanor's look] Jason taught me about sexy things.
Eleanor: Oh, yeah? What things did he say were sexy?
Janet: Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, 20,000 followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, latex pants, Carl's Jr. ads, and sex.
Eleanor: Eh, some of those are right. [Jason and Janet high-five]
Quote from Eleanor
[flashback:]
Eleanor: "Live every day like it's your last." [scoffs] Bite me. I'ma live forever, bitch.
Cashier: Ma'am? It's $132.21. So, big plans this weekend?
Eleanor: Yep. I'm gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.