Shawn: Thank you for these testimonials. A ruling has been reached. [everyone gathers] Oh, you want to hear it. I forgot how needy humans are. [clears throat] Eleanor Shellstrop is a bad person. The progress she has made does not offset her actions on Earth. She deserves to be in the Bad Place.
Michael: Oh!
Shawn: As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest... oh, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.

Eleanor: Can this train go any faster, Janet? No pressure, but Jason and I will literally be tortured for all of eternity if we get caught.
Janet: Don't worry, there's no way to tell we're going to Mindy St. Clair's house. It'll be our sexy little secret. [off Eleanor's look] Jason taught me about sexy things.
Eleanor: Oh, yeah? What things did he say were sexy?
Janet: Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, 20,000 followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, latex pants, Carl's Jr. ads, and sex.
Eleanor: Eh, some of those are right. [Jason and Janet high-five]

[flashback:]
Eleanor: "Live every day like it's your last." [scoffs] Bite me. I'ma live forever, bitch.
Cashier: Ma'am? It's $132.21. So, big plans this weekend?
Eleanor: Yep. I'm gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.