Tahani Quote #21
Quote from Tahani in Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis
Michael: Anyway, why did seeing the rankings unravel you so?
[flashback:]
Eunice: I was so sorry to hear of your parents' passing. Please bear with me as I share their last will and testament. "To Kamilah, we have left £68 million, the home in Kensington, the yacht, and other assorted weekend boats."
Tahani: Well, what did they leave their second favorite child?
Eunice: There's still quite a lot of money and property that goes to you. There is one issue, however. They have, um, spelled your name incorrectly in the will.
Tahani: You've got to be kidding me.
Eunice: It says, "We bequeath the rest of our estate to Tahini." Like the sauce.
Tahani: You know what? I don't want the money. My sister can have it all. My whole life, I have lived in your shadow, but now I'm going to step out of it. I am going to reach heights of success and sophistication that you can only dream of.
Kamilah Al-Jamil: Your cardigan's on inside out.
Tahani: I know! It's a new trend that I am starting. Just one example of how I'm going to step out of your shadow.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.
Quote from Jason
Jason: Oh, dip, I get it. It's like, I knew this girl Sheila? She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone.
Chidi: Um... Okay, what?
Jason: Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug, and make him move to Sarasota. It would've broken up my whole break dancing crew and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards in Sheila's garage and called the cops. I framed one innocent gator dealer to save a 60-person dance crew.
Chidi: Shockingly, that is a relevant example of the Utilitarian dilemma. Well done.
Jason: Thanks! [raises hand]
Chidi: Um... Uh, yes, Jianyu?
Jason: Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.
Chidi: Go ahead, man.
Jason: Yes! [runs out]