Chidi Quote #16
Quote from Chidi in Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis
Chidi: Guys, really, it's no big deal.
Nina: "It's not a big deal" is nearly always code for "something is wrong."
Eleanor: Boom! That's what I said. I should've been a marriage counselor.
Bart: Okay, Chidi, out with it. What is so unsatisfying about your soul mate relationship?
Eleanor: Be honest, Chidi. Be, like, the exact right amount of honest so that we can both be happy.
Chidi: I never had a soul mate on earth. I-I never even really had a girlfriend that I "loved." And when I got here, and Michael said I would finally meet my actual soul mate, I was so excited. And it isn't... exactly... what I thought.
Nina: You've never had an intense relationship before. This is all uncharted territory.
Bart: No wonder you're so tense. You know, Nina and I are skilled in the art of massage. Uh, not erotic massage. Although, it can be, and it often leads there, anyway...
Eleanor: Okay, well, you know what? You guys have given us so much to think about. And I think we should go to bed. Just the two of us, alone. Just us. [whispers] I know it's not the right time, but I told you.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.
Quote from Jason
Jason: Oh, dip, I get it. It's like, I knew this girl Sheila? She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone.
Chidi: Um... Okay, what?
Jason: Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug, and make him move to Sarasota. It would've broken up my whole break dancing crew and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards in Sheila's garage and called the cops. I framed one innocent gator dealer to save a 60-person dance crew.
Chidi: Shockingly, that is a relevant example of the Utilitarian dilemma. Well done.
Jason: Thanks! [raises hand]
Chidi: Um... Uh, yes, Jianyu?
Jason: Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.
Chidi: Go ahead, man.
Jason: Yes! [runs out]