Eleanor: Hang on, hang on. You're not supposed to be here either? You're a mistake, just like me?
Jason: Yeah, and I'm freaking out, dog. There's so much thoughts in my brain, it's like my head is filled with rocks.
Eleanor: How have you managed to stay undiscovered? Because I have had to dodge and weave and barely escape with my life, and you don't seem... Like a super genius.
[flashback:]
Michael: Hello, Jianyu. I'm Michael. Before we start, I know you were a Buddhist monk and kept a vow of silence. Would you prefer to remain silent here as well? [Jianyu nods]
[present:]
Eleanor: You literally haven't said a word since we got here?
Jason: Yeah. When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. I think we might be in an alien zoo or on a prank show.
Eleanor: No, Jianyu, we're dead.
Jason: Whoa, that's a dope prank. Pfff. Got to give it up.

Eleanor: Okay, I need to make sure that this isn't some sort of weird trap. Is your real name Jianyu?
Jason: No. It's Jason Mendoza. And by the way, everyone here thinks I'm Taiwanese. I'm Filipino. That's racist. Heaven is so racist.
Eleanor: But Tahani said that you helped Michael by putting your hand on his chest and doing some sort of healing magic.
Jason: Yeah. A nurse did that to calm me down once when I crashed my Jet Ski into a manatee.
Eleanor: You crashed your Jet Ski into a manatee?
Jason: Yeah. I'm from Jacksonville, Florida. It happens a lot.
Eleanor: What did you do for a living?
Jason: I was an amateur DJ specializing in EDM. [off Eleanor's look] Electronic dance music. I was also an amateur hip-hop backup dancer, an amateur body spray inventor... um, I did pranks on Vine.
Eleanor: None of those are jobs. What did you do to make money?
Jason: Oh, I sold fake drugs to college kids.

Jason: I am here to learn about ethnics.
Chidi: Wow, that's great, man. I mean, it's "ethics," but that's great.
Jason: [quietly to Eleanor] Pretty sure it's "ethnics."
Eleanor: Hey, buddy, I'm proud of you. This is your first step towards not sucking.
Jason: Cool. I just have two questions: when are football tryouts? And does this school have a prom?
Chidi: Oh, no.
Eleanor: Oh, wow. For the first time ever, I'm the smartest kid in class.