Chidi: Tell me one fact that you know about me. I mean, we spent the whole day together. You must remember something. What country am I from?
Eleanor: [groans] Is it racist if I say Africa?
Chidi: Yes, and Africa is not a country. I am from Senegal. Do I have any siblings? Where did I go to college?
Eleanor: Trick question. You didn't.
Chidi: I was literally a college professor. Do you not remember one single thing about me?
Eleanor: Dude, things have been nuts around here. I bet you don't know anything about me.
Chidi: You were born in Phoenix. You went to school in Tempe. You're an only child. Your favorite show is something called The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and your favorite... book is Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.
Eleanor: How did you know all that?
Chidi: Because you are constantly talking about yourself. You are the most self-obsessed person I have ever met.
Eleanor: You should see Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.

Chidi: Okay, this is my fear about you, Eleanor. You are too selfish to ever be a good person.
Eleanor: Well, I think you're wrong.
Chidi: What country am I from, again?
Eleanor: Sen... sodyne.
Chidi: That is a brand of toothpaste. Look, the only thing that you are concerned with is your own happiness. That's your problem.

Eleanor: Um, Janet, I need... Quick question: can anyone access our search history, or is this an incognito browsing situation like when you're stalking a hot mailman from your work computer?
Janet: It is 100% confidential. No one can access what you ask me, including Michael. Now, what kind of pornography would you like to see?
Eleanor: No. No, no, no, not porn. I, um... I need clothes like yours and Chidi's with the stripes.
Janet: There you go.