Eleanor Quote #7

Quote from Eleanor in Everything is Fine

Chidi: You know, maybe... it's a test. Maybe if you go to Michael and you tell him the truth, you'll pass the test and you'll get to stay.
Eleanor: No way. I can't risk going to the Bad Place.
Chidi: Okay, well, maybe it's not actually, like, all that bad. Let's just get some information first. We'll ask Janet. Hey, Janet?
Janet: [appears by the table] Hi, there.
Eleanor: Gah!
Janet: How can I help you?
Eleanor: What the fork? Who are you?

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 ‘Everything is Fine’ Quotes

Quote from Michael

Eleanor: Um, so who was right? I mean about all of this?
Michael: Well, let's see. Hindus are a little bit right, Muslims a little bit. Jews, Christians, Buddhists, every religion guessed about 5%, except for Doug Forcett.
Eleanor: Who... who's Doug Forcett?
Michael: Well, Doug was a stoner kid who lived in Calgary during the 1970s. One night, he got really high on mushrooms, and his best friend, Randy, said, "Hey, what do you think happens after we die?" And Doug just launched into this long monologue where he got like 92% correct. [chuckles] I mean, we couldn't believe what we were hearing. That's him, actually, right up there. He's pretty famous around here. I'm very lucky to have that. [chuckles]

Quote from Eleanor

Chidi: Are you sure this isn't you?
Eleanor: Yeah, man, I'm pretty sure I wasn't a death row lawyer who collected clown paintings and rescued orphans. They got my name right, but nothing else. I mean, somebody royally forked up. Somebody forked up. Why can't I say "fork"?
Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited.
Eleanor: That's bullshirt.

 Eleanor Shellstrop Quotes

Quote from Pandemonium

Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.

Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals

Eleanor: Tahani improved so much over her many lives, but she also helped me improve. She taught me lots of stuff, like "Bras shouldn't be painful", and, "You don't buy bras at Home Depot", and "They don't sell bras at Home Depot. What the hell are you wearing?" For the record, it was a men's back support harness, and it worked in a pinch.