Chidi: Hey. Um... I'm sorry I said that before, man.
Jason: No, you were right. Janet and I are different. Maybe it can't last. Maybe we're like the Montagues and Capulets.
Chidi: How do you know that?
Jason: I read some books, man. Jeez.

Chidi: [sighs] Uh, listen. Maybe on paper, you and Janet don't make total sense, but who cares? The relationship you have built together is wonderful. She knows you and loves you, and that's all that matters.
Jason: Do you really believe that?
Chidi: Of course I do.
Jason: [laughs] Sucker!
Chidi: Sorry?
Jason: I got you so bad. Dude, pretend what you just said was what you said to you instead of to me. And you have to listen to yourself, because it was already in your own head and then came out. But just put it back in your head, and realize that it was you talking about you and Eleanor.
Chidi: Against all odds, I know what you mean, and I-I gotta give it up. That was... that was good.
Jason: Yeah, it was. Chess mate. [laughs]

Janet: Does that mean me?
Michael: You're a Good Janet, and we're in the Good Place. I don't know who else it would mean.
Janet: Okay. No pressure. I was born to do this... Not born. [touches the sign] Okay, so I now know all the information about the Good Place. In a nutshell, it slaps. First thing to tell you: humans can't see the Good Place all at once or their brains will be scrambled.
Jason: Cool, maybe I'll finally get some of those squigglies on my brain. Doctor said my brain's as smooth as an egg.

Jason: Whoa. This is the Jacksonville SuperSuites Hotel ballroom where I had my prom and also traffic court.
Eleanor: But this has to be my party, because that's the bed pan that Stone Cold Steve Austin used to beat up Vince McMahon in 1998! [gasps] It was a classic moment. Don't judge me.
Janet: I'm so sorry, guys. The Good Place uses your life experiences to plan the perfect party, but it's only designed for one person at a time. When you walked in as a group, it became...
Tahani: A mishmash of all four of us.
Eleanor: [sighs contentedly] It's perfect.
Jason: Um, no it's not, Eleanor, because there's no go-kart track and no monkeys. No offense, but you're being a real smooth brain right now.
Janet: See those Green Doors? You can use them to visit any time or place, real or imagined. Just think about where you wanna go, and what you wanna do, and walk on through.
Tahani: So, one could walk amongst the dinosaurs, or witness the very first production of Hamlet at the Globe Theater.
Jason: I'mma go Tokyo drift with monkeys! See you in a thousand years!

Michael: Jason, your lifelong dream got old that quickly?
Jason: I mean, monkeys and go-karts was fun for a while, then I was like, "Oh, you know what'd be cool? Hippos in go-karts." And I was like, "Yo, what about Draculas with jetpacks?" I did like 50 combos, and then I just kind of wanted to hang out with you guys again.

Donkey Doug: You did it! It took you more than 433,000 tries, but you just played the perfect game of Madden! You did it! That's my boy. That's my boy.
Jason: I did it.

Jason: That was special. I'll never forget this night. Until I walk through the door and dissolve into the universe.
Chidi: Can I ask you something, buddy? How did you know?
Jason: It wasn't like I heard a bell ring or anything. I just suddenly had this calm feeling, like the air inside my lungs was the same as the air outside my body. It was peaceful. You know the feeling when you think a jalapeno popper is gonna be too hot, but you bite into it anyway and it's actually the perfect temperature?
Eleanor: Believe it or not, I do know that feeling. That feeling rules.
Jason: There you go! Uh, can I get your advice on something? I'm scared Janet's gonna forget me. Her falling in love with someone else, I'm fine with that. Like, if Jason Momoa or if Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, gets in, and Janet's like, "That's what's up!" Totally cool, but her forgetting me would be sad, so I made her this. What do you guys think?
Chidi: It's lovely. But she's not gonna forget you, man. I mean, she literally can't. She remembers everything that ever happened.
Eleanor: Even if she could forget someone, I don't think she's gonna forget you.
Jason: Thanks.

Jason: Funny story. Remember how I made you something, and I thought I lost it because it wasn't in my pocket?
Janet: Uh-huh?
Jason: Turns out it was in my other pocket! By the time I found it, you were gone. I was just gonna leave it for you, but I was worried it would get eaten by that magic squirrel. So, I decided to wait for you to come back. Every so often, a different Janet came, but I knew it wasn't you.
Janet: Jason, it's been, like, a thousand Bearimies.
Jason: I know, but I wanted to see you again. It was actually pretty easy to wait. I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away. Thought about you, and the infinity of the universe.
Janet: Kind of like a monk.
Jason: What do you mean? [puts the necklace on Janet] Looks good, not-a-girl. [kisses Janet] Chidi, wait up!

Jason: Excuse me, sir? Would you like some free money? Now you can buy fingers for your gloves.