Janet: If it's okay with you, I'm gonna go to my void for a little while. I just need to spend some time alone and focus on myself.
Michael: Take all the time you need.
[Janet disappears for a moment and reappears with a man facing the wrong way]
Janet: Hi, there.
Derek: Hello.
Michael: Janet, who's that man?
Janet: This is my new rebound boyfriend, Derek. I made him!
Derek: [chuckles] Hi, I'm Derek. You must be Mich... [Janet turns Derek around to face Michael] oh. Okay.
That makes more sense. You must be Michael. Janet's made a lot of talk-talk into my ear holes about you. Michael, Michael, Michael, Clichael, Clichael, Clichael.

Michael: Janet, you can't make a person.
Janet: I know. But I did, though. Eleanor said that, to forget about Jason, I should create a rebound guy. So I made one: Derek.
Derek: I'm her boyfriend, and she made me.
Janet: He's so nice.
Derek: [laughs] Whoa, look at this glass. Oh, my God. [walks into the mirror] I'm in there, too? What's going on right now?
Janet: It's my first time making someone, so he might be a little bit off.

Michael: Look, this could be... no, please put that down. This could be very dangerous. It shouldn't even be possible.
Janet: Well, maybe not 800 reboots ago, but apparently now it is.
Derek: [gasps as he picks up Janet's manual] [laughs] Can you believe this?
Michael: Derek... is it Derek?
Janet: It's Derek.
Michael: Derek, could you please give me and Janet a moment alone?
Janet: Go back to the void, babe. I'll be there in a minute.
Derek: Okay. I'll miss you like crazy.
Janet: I'll miss you more.
Derek: No. I'll miss you more. Bye! [disappears]
Janet: What a dork, am I right?

Michael: Janet, you can't just go around inventing people. Get rid of him immediately.
Janet: No. Eleanor told me to find a rebound guy. I couldn't find one so I made one. [laughs] He's helping me forget about Jason.
Derek: [appears] Ugh, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason. Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, [whimpers] Jason, Jason, Jason...
Janet: Honey...
Derek: Jason, Jason, Jason...
Janet: Babe. Babe! Don't be jealous. I love you now.

Janet: We are going to spend every second together.
Michael: No, no! No, you are not. Janet, no one can know about... I'm so sorry. What is your name again?
Derek: Derek Hoffstetler.
Michael: If anybody finds out about him, we are doomed. He has to stay in your void.
Janet: It's our void now. [laughs] We moved in together!
Derek: What?! Can you believe it? I got my own hanger for my jumpsuit.
Michael: Already? I mean, that's so fast.
Janet: Well, when you know you know. And we know literally everything. We are so in sync, we're finishing each other's...
Derek: Derek!

Michael: Guys, what's going?
Janet: Okay, can we not do this in front of my friends?
Derek: Oh, so they're your friends now. I'm stating a fact. They are your friends! I don't know these people. I am out of here.

Michael: Derek, get down from there.
Derek: I am not coming down because I meant to come here. I came here on purpose because this tree is my new house. This is Derek's house, and Janet's not allowed in because I booby trapped it.

Derek: How come you never get this upset at anything I do, Janet?
Janet: Do not start with me right now, Derek.
Derek: Oh, I will start it.
Chidi: No, no. Don't. [Janet disappears]
Derek: Do not avoid me by going to the void.
[Derek disappears]
Michael: No, no! No, no, no!
Eleanor: What a little bench!

Derek: All aboard! The train is here. It's a train! Get onboard?
Eleanor: Actually, Derek...
Derek: Derek.
Eleanor: You're gonna wait until the last song of the night...
Derek: Derek.
Eleanor: And when you do leave, you're gonna be flying a solo mission.
Derek: Oh. Maximum Derek.

Eleanor: Speaking of people getting what they want, I really hope Mindy liked the present we sent her.
[elsewhere:]
Mindy St. Claire: Who are you?
Derek: Derek.
Mindy St. Claire: "Thanks for helping us all those times we showed up. To repay you, here's a willing sex robot and two duffel bags full of cocaine."
Derek: There are wind chimes where my ding dong should be. [wind chimes tinkling]
Mindy St. Claire: I can work with that.
Derek: All right!