Michael: I need to speak with the committee regarding an urgent matter.
Gwendolyn: Oh, sorry, you'd have to contact them directly, and that's definitely against the rules.
Michael: I see. How would I contact them, though, if it weren't against the rules?
Gwendolyn: Well, by calling them on that phone, but I can't let you use it.
Michael: Right, and even if it weren't against the rules, I don't know the number, and you wouldn't tell me.
Gwendolyn: [chuckles] I couldn't. There are no numbers. You pick it up and it connects you to whomever you want, but you can't use it.
Michael: Of course not. Just as a hypothetical... Is there any way that you would know if I did use the phone? Any kind of alarm?
Gwendolyn: Golly, no.
Michael: So, it's entirely untraceable?
Gwendolyn: Sure is. What a fun thought experiment.
Michael: You said it, Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn: Uh-huh.
Michael: Say, is that a dog barking in another room?
Gwendolyn: I doubt it, because I don't have a dog. But out of politeness and an abundance of caution, I'll go check. Hello? Doggie? [exits]
Michael: [on the phone] My name is Michael, I'm an Accountant. I need to speak with the Committee immediately, on the top floor of the Correspondence Center. Thank you.