Neil: Here we go, the Book of Dougs. Let's have a look. Doug Forbush, Doug Forcap... Doug L. Forcett. Hey, no peeking. Accountants only.
Michael: Can you just tell me his total so far?
Neil: Looks like he's at 520,000 points. Well done, Doug.
Michael: So that's... that's good?
Neil: Oh, it's excellent. Wait, he's 68 years old? Oh, that's terrible. He's screwed.
Michael: I knew it! Doug has spent his entire life being nothing but good. He once found a dollar on the ground, and he sent it to the Canadian government to help pay down their national debt. And he isn't even close to getting in? How can that be?
Neil: Look, mate, the points are indisputable. They have been since the beginning.
Michael: "Og Gives His Rock to Grog."
Neil: First ever act of human altruism. Og earned 10,000 points that day. Of course, then Grog used that rock to beat Og's brains in and lost a million points. The point is, the math is cold, objective, and airtight, and unless you can prove otherwise, I don't know how I can help you.
Matt: I just got 700 new Weird Sex Thing files in the last one second.
Neil: Oh, yeah, Burning Man just started. Buckle up, Matty. It's going to be a long week.