Tahani: John, I have something to say.
John: Round two. Let's do this.
Tahani: In 2007, Blake Lively invited me to a birthday party held for Leonardo DiCaprio aboard Paul Allen's mega-yacht.
John: I see we're dropping names three at a time now.
Tahani: The guest list was 100 of the wealthiest, most famous members of the glitterati. Once aboard, I discovered there was a VIP deck. And within that area, there was an even more exclusive room that you could only access with a secret PIN, which I promptly entered. And guess who was waiting for me.
John: I hate to admit it, but I have to know. Who?
Tahani: No one. I was the only one there. The party raged on outside, but I was so obsessed with status that I never left. I spent the entire night talking to no one.
John: Riveting story. If only it were longer and sadder.